A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Back Again:This is the low down: For a 6 months now I have been attracted to a female coworker (I am Female) She is married and I am single. We have shared alot of intense looks and she always does thing to get me to look at her like puts her back straight -and combs her hair- actually cupping her breast when no one is watching.. Although when it comes to talking she pulls away, it goes in spurts! I know she knows I am attracted to her and I am not for sure if she is just liking the attention or what...So thats question #1Here recently a mutual friend asked me out (a guy). After a lot of thought and woowing he won me over, so I said yes. One eve last week -he came over after our shift-with the thought of leaving when it became to late - well in the end he slept on my couch. We went back to work in the morning to drop him off at his car. My friend the woman was not on her IM which was weird, then a coworker needed her 4 help. So I seen her she gave me a long sad /straight look then turned around did what she needed to due not saying anything- then got up and left the area - I think she thought I did not see but I saw her put her head down past my area.- Truth is I really like her! I mean it's like I feel a connection with her.. But I want more than looks and thoughts- I like her enough not to let her screw a marriage up so I have tried to distance myself - then she tries harder or does things that make me look more! I work with her, I am too scared to say I want more. On the guy, I like him hes very funny, sensative,smart, giving a big love sponge, and single!I can see a future. However, he is not her. Rummors started about us dating, before the event. So I told the girl I like if I started to date him she would be the 1st to know.. Well that was Sat. I txt her sayn I thought we were going to go out and I cant im her at work anymore- ( firing people left n right) but I would due txt and I switched my phone companies to hers so it would be free. Now she took a weeks vaction and has not returend my txt's - I am worried, I would even go as far to say I love her, I dont want to loose her friend or more- but the silience is horrible.It makes me want to tell her how I feel, but I can't... What should I due?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009): You are so young .. First, it is very normal for people to get jealous when a close friend starts going out with someone of the opposite sex. Your close friend will naturally feel jelous and will miss it that you're getting your intimacy from a 3rd party. You just need to live a balanced life (don't spend 100% of your time with this guy) and she will come around and continue to be your close friend.
Women have an innate urge to show off and flaunt themselves for others, its wired into their minds, the attention is a massive turn-on for them, from ANYWHERE and ANYONE, female or male. So, nothing in your friend's behavior is abnormal in the context of a normal feminine friendship.
It's not even abnormal to feel a mild attraction to someone of the same sex, especially if they are female and if they are high on the (general) attraction scale. Even hetero people feel it sometimes. The question is : what will you do, if anything, to help it develop? That's totally up to you, in a normal case, but off-limits in this situation, because your friend is married.
If you are bisexual or even homosexual, you have your whole life ahead of you to figure that out. There is no need to destroy a marriage to answer this question in your mind. For the moment, I just wouldn't worry about it, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and you haven't done anything wrong or improper ... yet.
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