A
female
age
30-35,
*quine
writes:Ok so i have been dating this guy for almost 6 months, i really want to spend the rest of my life with this guy but sometime he is just too clingy. I just moved an hour and a half away to college and things have just gone downhill. Its not that he wants to spend every moment with me because obviously he can't but instead he wants to spend every single moment talking to me on the phone, and god forbid if i don't answer the first time he calls he will call and call and call and call until i finally answer. I'm getting so annoyed with it that i am on the verge of breaking up with him but that really isn't what i want to do.So how do i fix this. How to i communicate to him that i wanna be with him but that doesn't mean i wanna be suffocated by him and that i do have a life that doesn't involve him??Please Help im on the verge of completely breaking down Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lquine +, writes (16 November 2010):
lquine is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i sat down and talked with him today and i could tell he was really hurt but i think he understands now that its not healthy for him to be so obsessed with me so he has agreed to lay off the harassing phone calls and text messages. I guess we will see how long it last! Thanks for the advice i just hope it really works
A
female
reader, lacrymosa_652  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 I think the best thing is to be honest with him. Just sit him down and tell him that you love him, and you enjoy his company and love talking to him on the phone, but you can't spend all your time on the phone to him because you feel it's important that you spend time doing other things, him as well. Sometimes you may just want to chill by yourself, reading a book or watching TV. Or that you need time to hang out with your friends as well, especially as you just started college and need to mix and make friends. Oh, and you need to study (boo). Say that of course he can call you, and you can spend an hour or two on the phone each day [or whatever time span you want, or every couple of days] but you don't think it's necessary to be talking constantly - him aswell, he needs to spend time doing things that don't revolve around you and only you.
Be tactful in your approach, and he will be less hurt. He'll probably be a bit hurt regardless of how tactful you are, but you can't help that.
If he still doesn't give you space, suggest that you maybe take a break, because you don't want to lose him completely, but you just need a bit of time apart.
Good luck with everything, I hope he learns to give you your space.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): Hi there!
I was once kinda in ur shoes with my ex. I just simply told her to trust me and stop calling and tell her roughly what I was doing for the day and then organized a small little time to chat. Believe me Im glad you brought this up as he seems very dependent and also for whatever reason may have some trust issues. For sure talk to him clear things up and set aside a small amount of time to chat during the week, that way he knows you care and are still willing to work towards your relationship. Also, yes its proper for him to give you a little space so that you can breathe a bit and hang with friends and go out or even study..this falls on trust and unless its cleared up, that phone will be more annoying than the next justin bieber song that releases ;p Good luck here :)
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