A
female
age
30-35,
*arlamarpal
writes:(OP's suggested title)Hi there and thanks for reading. I need a little bit of adivise about the way my parents/family see me.I am a single woman, 20 years old. I've never been on a relationship with someone and i still live with my family (since the college where i go to is in the very same town) Truth is, i'm not too much of the adventurous type but organized, calm and a little bit shy...i'm used to sacrifice parties and social gathering in order to study/do homework. Help with the cleaning,taking care of my grandfathers,cooking and stuff. I try to be good with my friends, listening and helping them when they need to. Usually i'm hardworking at both school and general life.As if that wasn't enough i've never asked for expensive clothes nor products. Most of my clothes are very worn and old (like, i've used them for years). I earn some money randomly thanks to my good grades (i'm on one of those financial programs) but generally i use it to pay for school material or things i truly need and not what i would really like. I've never smoked nor arrived drunk to the house. I try to save light and water, and to recycle things as much as possible.Even if it sounds selfish i think i'm not that bad but it seems i can't impress my parents nor my sister, no matter what i do. It's okay tought since i've never done something really important. My sister for example plays the piano and the guitar, goes to hawaiian and gymnastic classes and has lots of friends (not to mention she's younger than me and already has dated someone). Seems weird, but they (specially my father and her) apparently think of me as lazy, vain and egocentric. (it figures they don't talk too much with people my age)Sometimes i feel alone, like if i were trapped in a place where i can't be the way i'd like to. I feel very old at my age, and very tired since they don't acknowledge the few good things inside of me. I don't have a lot of friends. I've never had a partner or someone to talk to. Sometimes i masturbate but then i feel very sad and very guilty. And also, on school people think i'm a moody,plain,boring person since i don't like going to parties and stuff, i feel very awkward,can't even have a normal-lenght conversation. What could i do in order for people to like me? what do you think i need to be a little bit more "visible" or acknowledged?-Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, LoveGirl  +, writes (11 April 2010):
thank you Mod it is better than "Cindarella wants to be Acknowledged"
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2010): It's not easy, but I think what you might need most is just some ongoing social interaction with peers. Socializing is like athletic skills or many other skills. You can read about the issues but that only goes so far. A lot of it just comes from experience and that includes taking a few hard painful falls during the learning process.
I would urge you to push your comfort zones a bit. Say or do a few things that scare you a bit. Be willing to get a little hurt without totally losing all your confidence to try again.
But at the same time, keep your head. Don't take that excuse ("Well I have to learn sometime, right?") to say or do things that you already know are just stupid or a bad risk. Push yourself but don't knowingly abuse yourself. There's a fine line between being a good friend or girlfriend and just being a doormat.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (11 April 2010):
 You need to change your self image and increase your self esteem and confidence.
Take an interest in other people and be more visual. Going to those places where all those people congregate.
Your chances of meeting people who share the same interest will increase.
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