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male
age
41-50,
*arl1
writes:I am 28 years old male. I used to live in my aunty's house and i was in a lot of stress due to studies, work and my father's health. I had some very bad cases with my cousin sister in laws and aunt. I had my bathroom door unlocked and my cousin's sister in law saw me fully naked about 3 times and my aunty as well.I did apologise to my cousin's sister in law but she told everyone in the house and i have been chucked from the house. I feel ashameD every day. I can't face them. My aunty told this to my mother. I have no girlfriend and i have had any sex with anyone. Now its hard for me to go like that. I think about those cases. I do not know what to do.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2009): Sorry to butt in! Just wanted to say to the poster, I am really sorry you are feeling this way.
There is an agony aunt on this site who has put in her profile some advice for if you are feeling really low. The link to her page is:
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/azula
If you read down her profile, you will come to a part which has some help for if you are feeling bad. Perhaps reading this might help you. It has helped me to read it, when I have been feeling like life in unbearable. And maybe one of the halplines might be of use?
Hope something helps. x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2009): hi, I do not know what to say there r no others ways to help me. u helped me a lot on forum. threw is no body in my life I can share my feelings. thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2009): I don't mean to offend, but it seems as though you are a sensitive person. Or have there been other problems in your life, which is contributing to the way you feel? It seems like the latter to me, but correct me if I am wrong. I wish to help but I'm not sure how else I can. It just seems that there are more problems than your aunt and cousins catching you in the bathroom.
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reader, karl1 +, writes (7 August 2009):
karl1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi,I can;t talk to anyone you have mentioned. My aunty and uncle already are angry with me and after that incident on phone with my aunty i cant talk to her. My father is not well and i can't tell him about this. I think i need a doctor or a good friend like you. but what type of doctor?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2009): What I mean is, you should talk to your aunt/uncle or someone in your family about it, even if you are embarassed. Perhaps your parents could help you find a place?
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reader, karl1 +, writes (7 August 2009):
karl1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi, thanks for your reply. Whom do yout think i will speak as well? I do not know anyone. Do you know someone.
Please advice
Take care
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): You're welcome. I don't know your family background, but it seems that they are quite strict and set in their ways. I still think this whole thing is getting out of hand! I'm almost 100% sure that this has happened to plenty of people before and their families have gotten over it. Surely it's nothing they've not seen before?
But please don't feel that your life is over because of this, so don't do anything stupid! Perhaps you don't want to burden people with this but keeping how you feel bottled up isn't going to help. If you are feeling this way, you should talk to someone about it (other than me), otherwise this problem won't get solved. It seems that you are only feeling this way because of their reaction, which you cannot help. If they hadn't reacted so badly there wouldn't be a problem.
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reader, karl1 +, writes (6 August 2009):
karl1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, Thanks for your lovely comments again. I wish i had a someone lovely like you in my life who can share my feelings but unfortunately no one except you. Thanks for your lovely comments. I have no friends to stay in their home. I cant say what happened to my dad he is really ill and my mother already knows about this. I cant put my head on somebody shoulders and share my feelings. It is hard for me to take this shameful life ahed so i have decided to finish this shameful life here and don't know how i am going to do this but i can see the end of my life. Thanks again. You are such a lovely person.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): I'm sorry you've lost your job aswell. It must be affecting you really badly if it resulted in being sacked because you couldn't concentrate.
First thing's first... Job centre! You need some sort of income so going on JSA would be a sensible thing to do until you find another job.
Can you stay with your parents or other family, or with a friend?
I think you should tell your aunt that you're sorry and there's nothing else you can do to help the situation but apologise and (obviously) not move back in.
Then I think you should stay out of their way for a while until they've gotten over it. It's not like it's The End, hopefully they'll see that they're making a big deal out of nothing.
Don't worry about any future girlfriends finding out... Perhaps it's just me, but everything is being blown out of proportion here! I'm sure they'll understand why you're not talking to them. It might have all blown over by the time you meet someone.
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reader, karl1 +, writes (6 August 2009):
karl1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, Thanks for your answer. I do really appreciate your views atleast someone a female person who can understands my situation. I have got a temporary roof at the moment. Because of that incident on phone with my aunty. I have lost my job as well because i was stressed and was not able to concentrate. I have leave this temporary place very soon. I owe money to my Uncle and he wants his money back. I can;t go to their house. If i find a girlfriend in future how i am going to face her. I can;t lie to her and how i am going to tell her about those cases. I am really scared.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): I'm sorry that they're being insensitive towards your feelings. Your aunty and cousins are being very immature. I assume you've got a roof over your head some where else for the time being? Don't be too upset, they've overreacted and aren't handling it very well, I know you're feeling embarassed but you haven't lost everything. I think you should leave them alone and concentrate on finding your own place, if you can afford it.
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reader, karl1 +, writes (6 August 2009):
karl1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answer. My aunty rang me she just wanted to ask something. She seemed preety angry to me and she started doing my shame shame on phone. She said about 3 times that shame shame karll your shame shame. Shame on you karll. Shame on you. This is a lesson for you. The mistake you have done and i want you to fell shame on you forever. You can;t face me because whenever u face me or your cousin sisters in law they will laugh on you. She said that your cousin sister in laws are already laughing on you. I am so stressed after that and i really fell shame on myself. After loosing everyhitng i am not in condition to live. Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): They're most likely feeling a bit embarassed and uncomfortable - probably not as much as you are though!
I do think they're overreacting by chucking you out, especially under the circumstances you're in.
Okay so you forgot to lock the door, but shouldn't they have knocked aswell? This is something they should have done after catching you naked the first time.
You could talk to them, apologise and say it won't happen again, (and MAKE sure it won't happen again), tell them you feel a bit embarassed and don't want to be chucked out because of this.
If you don't want to move back in with them or if they won't let you move back in, still apologise, but unfortunately you'll have to find some where else to live. It might take them a while for them to be able to look you in the eye again, and that's an IF!
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