A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:We'll I'm looking/ hoping to get some advice about a very close,personal matter. I'm 27 and still single,etc... What are some good ways to build up my confidence to hopefully meet and potentially date my first g/f? I'm just really bummed out today, after 10+ years it's getting lonely never having a g/f around Christmas to introduce to my friends, family, share in the good,bad, even get gifts for. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I don't open my heart often, but it's just been on my mind now for a few years.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2013): a very happy holidays to you. I know how you feel, I've been there myself, I still am :-) single in my early 40ties but it is not easy, it's a lot of work, work on yourself, and yes I agree with "anonymous reader" friends and even older siblings are envious a lot of me for still being single, which is definitely not fair at all as all those people were single at one point and had the chance to go out, have fun and didn't have any responsibilities or commitments, but that is beside the point, basically I think you shouldn't be shy, be out there, available, approachable, go out on dates ask any of your friends to set you up with a nice young lady a friend of their wife/or of their girlfriend and have fun dating without any expectations, have a positive attitude and join any classes, whether it is dancing class or cooking or even hiking, it doesn't matter, main thing you meet new people while you enjoy your hobby and you can take it from there. Good luck and all the best to you in 2014
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2013): Some quick tips:-concentrate on yourself, that is, your hobbies, job, education, appearance, etc. Yes, we all know confidence building is a means of attracting females, but don't focus on that. It works better if you focus on yourself. The girl will appear out of nowhere in no time :)-become a problem solver and solve your problems. List them, and then list the small steps you can make to solve them. Getting rid of your problems yourself will boost your confidence.-set achievable goals and achieve them (this works both for everyday tasks and huge goals - I like to set the latter as New Year's Resolutions, and stick to them throughout the year)-do the stuff you're good at (hobbies), do it well, and do it a lot. If you don't have one, find one. Try new things.-this is a bit tricky, but try diving into your subconscious thoughts and write down all the things which make your confidence low. Find a quiet place for that, ask a friend, get a bit drunk - anything which helps you be true to yourself is ok. Write these problems down, then proceed to solve them as described above.Hope it helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2013): I'm 36. I've never had a girlfriend at Christmas. Even worse twice no I've been dumped weeks before Christmas and spent the last few days before Christmas returning presents I had bought. Makes Christmas a bit s*** when all your friends seemingly happy. It's the same at other events like friends' weddings. It's just one of those things. It may feel rubbish at the moment but enjoy your single life. You'll meet someone one day and be pinned down. My friends are envious a lot of the time about me being single as I can do anything I want. No responsibilities or commitments. So concentrate on yourself being happy and doing the things you like, soon enough that itself will attract a girl.
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