A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:You love someone,yet there is proof of cyber sexing,texting,astrology love match which isnt your sign,lies etc,anger if you stumble upon and question. Dating sites,basicaly everything except caught in the act. In the meantime you are accused of cheating,lies,eyeing up women and keeping secrets. Keep splitting up,back together etc. When things surface,always end up listening. Any question you ask is answered with something unrelated.(i never said i was perfect either).If there is love and youre miserable without them,which is worse? With or without? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008): She is probably suffering from attention seekers disease. Symptoms can include a disregard for anyone,tears when things backfire,paranoid dilusions,belief no one listens to them. They tend to cheat on their partners without a second thought. They are not the one hurting so its ok. Its all in their favour because you never listened,didnt show love. Its all your fault,u deserved it. Get out because youre on the highway to hell.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2008): Your so called partner is going to have you believing that this is normal behaviour. Its not. Get away and find someone who is normal. If you stay,you should play the field. You may as well because thats what she is doing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): If it was a one off i would say allow for a mistake. This is far worse. She has absolutely disrespected you to the limit,shown no sign of guilt,insulted your inteligence and doesnt care. By her lying does show she doesnt want you to go,but its not love as i believe she will dump you the moment theres someone to move right in. You will never be able to trust again. How could it be better to stay? Leave her to her chosen life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2008): She has accused you of eyeing up girls and cheating so that she can justify her cheating. You will one day hear something like,so what! you cheated on me didnt you. (thats if she hasnt said it already). Its time to leave her to it. I think if she got a better offer you will find yourself mercilessly dumped anyway. I suspect she could have done far more than you know about. I think on this occasion the grass will be greener for you on the other side.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): Unless you are into swinging u are going to get hurt and walked all over. I very much doubt she plays mixed doubles. She just wants it all for herself and as you know,you are not included. This woman by all means is as bad as it could ever get. A real snake in the grass. I would use a condom in your situation. Tell tale signs are shaving her pubic area,photos of her bits in her cell phone. You really need to get away from mad women like her. She's a bad example.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): If this has continued after she knows you have caught her then she has little regard for your feelings,intent on doing exactly as she wants. Clearly this woman doesnt love you and hasnt the capacity to love. Idealy she should stay single but unlikely,as its likely her kick is sexual cheating. If you have seen her online activity,then that is as good as being caught in the act. You will never be happy or settled. You shouldnt have to keep checking up and snooping. Find someone more worthy of your trust.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2008): Think and what good could ever come out of continuing this relationship? Dont kid yourself that it will get better. Its likely she changes her age,location etc in her dating site ads to put you off the scent. Have you checked newspaper personals? Its likely she's addicted and turned on by cheating and dont rule out group sex. You cant rule out anything with selfish,unreasonable people.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): i would move on,be strong,dont cave in if she calls.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): This is a destructive relationship, and you know it.
Look at it this way - you stay and you will always be miserable, always having to watch what she does and tearing yourself to pieces over the way she treat you, and it will last forever or until she finally drops you for a more interesting toy, having ripped all the stuffing out of you.
You go and it will hurt. It will hurt like merry hell and she may try and screw with your head and ask you back, and you will go through phases where you just want to call her/see her/just be with her again so the misery will end. But if you stick to your guns and get her out of your life and take time to heal the pain won't last forever. It'll get easier and easier to deal with and then you will eventually meet someone new who will be trustworthy and gentle and who will make you happy.
The choice is yours. Stay and have pain without an end in sight or go and have pain for a while but also the promise of light at the end of the tunnel.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): This farce of a relationship is going to send you crazy. You will be checking up every move she makes. Everything she says has to be treated as a possible lie. Looking through her belongings,cellphone etc. She is an unhealthy (and sorry to say it)dirty woman.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): The longer you stick it with this woman,the more worthless you will feel. Its you thats the better one,not her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): What has she got that keeps you there? Do you enjoy feeling punished? That is unreasonable behavior and you just let it happen again and again. Unless you are enjoying feeling hurt or get off on her getting it,which i dont think applies to you,then you need to leave. I assure you there will be someone else eventualy. Even if there isnt,it cant be worse than this loose woman.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): She loves danger, excitement and attention. Wants to be wanted,but more than one man could give her alone. She knows underneath it that she gets used,but consoles herself by believing she`s using them. She is in a word taking the piss out of you.I cant believe you would be better with her. You need to read up on why you have stuck this out. Do you have shyness problems and flattered that she has sex with you? Do you believe their`s no chance of meeting anyone else? You need to build up confidence. Get out there and find yourself a woman who`s nothing like the one you have got used to. Hopefully theres no children involved. She has zero respect for you or herself. No way she loves you. She see`s you as a soft touch. You will never be at peace with this trollop.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): The first few months will be hard without. You will probably find other things and realise everybody knew except you. Its possible you are a laughing stock now. Youre the fool who walks down the street with her as she gives a passer a secret smile. You will be at the bar while someone is giving his friend the run down on her. You have got to wake up and imagine the worst,because chances are,its probably true. People make mistakes,cheat and regret. This woman is without doubt going out of her way to do it. She doesnt love you,she`s probably just lonely on her own as the guys she cheats with,will say see you around.She knows they aint coming back unless they feel horny. You by all means have had an uneasy ride off this selfish woman. Get out now. When i say now,i mean this very minute.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): The fact you have posted here shows youre unhappy. She has got away with quite a lot and basicaly is prepared to take the risks. Its likely she gets her sexual kicks through cheating.The risks are exciting to her. Doesnt matter if she gets caught because theres an argument and suddenly its all your fault. This minority of people are a breed apart from the normal.You will never get sense out of them or any understanding. By turning it around and not answering simply makes them believe that its been sorted out. Any anger displayed is because youre not supposed to know. Your life is a horrible place to be with this woman. Expect further discoveries soon. Mark my words.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): This is anything but love. It is lacking in respect and your own self respect. You will be lead through hell. You are a fool if you are consoling yourself on not catching her in the act. She is clever. Does she ever go out and forget her phone? Has it occured to you theres names for women like her? You have unthinkable times ahead. She is likely to say its your fault and she was driven to it when the shit hits the fan.
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A
female
reader, gaslight +, writes (1 July 2008):
well i think you have to tackle this head on i had same prob with partner watching porn and it does cause probs you have to ask yourself how much you love her to stay and you can make it on your own if thats what you decide i think better to be on own misserable than having life of misery take care
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): At first it will b bad. Long term will lead to a low self esteem. These types when caught in the act will probably have u believing its your own fault. Not caught in the act? If that is your reason for still being there than more fool you. Dont try to fool yourself that she loves you,she is happy in her situation. If u believe theres been no sex involved you need to wake up and smell the coffee. There is a very long unhappy road ahead.
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