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I cheated on my husband with a footballer

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 November 2004) 3 Answers - (Newest, 24 February 2010)
A , anonymous writes:

Hello

Thankyou for reading my e-mail.My name is H and i've been married happily for 6 years.However i've put our marriage into danger and it's my fault.

2 weeks ago i went out with some girls for a hen night.I'm not really one for going out much but it's a close friend of mine so i agreed.We went for a meal and some wanted to go to a nightclub in the town centre.I had a little bit to drink but didn't want to have too much.I went along with them to the nightclub but wasn't intending to stay long.

Within 5 mins of us being there some guys started chatting us up.I realised i recognised a couple of them and some of my friends were saying they were top footballers.I noticed other people at the club were pointing and staring at them.

One of these guys i recognised made a move for me.He was vey good looking.I found myself starstruck.He kept giving me compliments and putting 50 pound notes in my belt.I wanted to leave but i don't know if it was the drink but part of me didn't want to leave.He then suggested we leave and i found myself making out with him in the back of this sports car.It was a horrible mixture of fear and excitement.

We got to this posh hotel and got inside his suite.I hesitated but something wouldn't say no.In my heart of hearts i know it wasn't the drink.He put me on the bed and made love to me twice in a matter of minutes.I hated it.I was a virgin when i got married and i've never been unfaithful to my husband.I don't know what i was thinking of.My husband has always been very gentle and giving with me but this guy was really aggressive.What made it worse was he noticed my rings and really seemed to enjoy the fact i was married and after he'd finished he just spent ages sucking and feeling my breasts then he had sex with me a third time.I was just numb through it all.He then washed himself and told me to leave.I felt so dirty and used.

The thing is i haven't been able to tell my husband.I just can't.But i feel so guilty.This guy was on the back page of the paper my husband bought back from work the other day.It keeps on bringing it all back.I've managed to explain away to my friends where i got to and why i was so late home but the hurt won't go away.I'm really feeling that my husband knows there is something wrong but i've taken away what was most precious to him and i just can't bring myself to tell him.I needed to share how i felt with someone.Thank you so much for listening to me.

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A male reader, Qwertin United States +, writes (24 February 2010):

You better tell him. You are responsible for what happened and he deserves to know. Even if your marriage falls apart, you can't live on a lie.

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A female reader, keeneye +, writes (10 September 2005):

Please, PLEASE don't tell him. You'll absolutely RUIN his self-esteem, and quite possibly your marriage. But please do seek counseling for this entire episode. There is an underlying reason that you admit that you cheated even in a sober mindset. Maybe you aren't as happy as you claim to be in your marriage. Not as excited? Not as content? Or maybe you needed subconciously to be "taken" by another man. Either way, don't ruin your husband's life by telling him of your infedelity -- but do seek counseling to decifer why you were unfaithful in the first place.

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A reader, Louise, writes (23 January 2005):

This sounds like a difficult time to be around you're husband, now i can't tell you what to do but i can give you some advise. I know its hard but you must explain everything to your husband. Sit him down and explain exactly what happened, tell him what you wrote. i know it's difficult to tell people things thats locked up inside but a relationship is built on mutual respect,trust and honesty. so you must tell him if he loves you enough he listen and help you decided what is to be done about the situation. i hope this will help you decided.

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