A
female
age
30-35,
*xel_sdnik
writes:[paragraphs inserted by mod for ease of reading.] I met this great guy in the army little under a year ago. We stayed up all night talking when we met and had every thing in common, it was perfect. We started seeing each other every day and soon become inseperable. maybe a month or two after that he said he was coming over and didnt until way hours of the night. his excuse was that work had 'kept him late' but the army keeping a chaplains assistant til after midnight seem'd fishy to me. But i let it go. This would continue every so oftenbut not frequently enough to make me worry. Then he started having to go to 'church groups' so he would have to set up for stuff etc, and sometimes he wouldnt come back after that. I soon found out one of my friends had been talking to him and he quickly stopped talking to her as soon as i told him it bothered me. Then the next one was when we where over at my friends he got a text messages from an unknown number stating 'i'm horny' so he sent her a message back saying he didnt know who she was etc. and that he was with his gf etc. Soon after that he left for Californa on leave and when he returned he gave me his myspace password((not thinking i would log onto it)) but i was curious things seem'd fishy to me so i logged on and he had been sending nearly 20 girls emails etc. offering to meet up, go dancing, drinking etc. while in Californa and i honestly dont consider myself perfect looking but he was talking to 40 year old women, and not to sound offense but chicks who are larger then most obese people telling them how hot they where etc. and how he wanted to meet up with them. By no means am i overweight, i'm completly active. I confronted him about it and he started crying saying that he was sorry.sooo once again i looked past it. Welll he had to leave for iraq on my birthday, We said we loved each other, he'd be coming back to me etc. the emails from random girls had stopped, he seem'd truly commited. Then when i logged onto his messanger to change his status i had noticed that he had another 20 new girls added because they started messaging me asking to 'play on webcam' etc. and once again they where not attractive women at all! i once again confronted him and he stated it was because he couldnt get porn on his computer etc. when i asked him about them being 'larger' or 'older' he said that he thought that i was to good for him, and he never thought he deserved anything better then them. So once again i had let it go, he delete'd all of the chicks and told them off. A couple of months later was his leave everything still seem'd perfect etc. i had just had my son ((who was from a previous relationship he stayed with me through out the entire pregnancy was the one who supported me etc. the only father my son knows)). we had let my ex come stay with me so he could be there when he was born, he didnt like the idea of me moving on and would throw a tantrum over my current bf being there. so i hardly got to see him we didnt get to spend every night together etc. and my ex would use my son as a way to make him feel jealous but when it came down to it and no one was around he didnt want anything to do with him. he just wanted to seem like this great guy who was the perfect dad when that wasn't ever the case. so he went back to iraq((sadly)) and we had talked evevertyhing over and he said it was fine that he loved me etc. and would be there no matter what, and when my ex didnt step up ((since i gave him the full opertunity too) that he would. I logged onto his account a couple days later and found a girl messaging him telling him how 'he had stolen her heart' etc. all these lovey dovey messages. Come to find out he was telling girls he was single, loved them, hooking up with them((as in sex))while on leave,and he had a whole secret account full of them. he delete'd the account, told all of the girls off, and stated that he doesnt want to loose me 'he has a problem with addiction' to this type of stuff etc. I can honestly say this guy is my first love the guy who makes you smile when you don't want toand makes your heart flutter. There was no lust between us it all seem'd real. But the fact that he cheated on me and slept with other people, i can't seem to get over, i can't trust him etc. as much as i want to work things out. I want him to be perfect etc. We are currently once again trying to work things out but i feel really stupid for taking him back considering all of the pain etc. he has put me through i feel like im in pieces. He used to send flowers, Jewelry etc. and all of that stopped once i busted him for the secret account its almost like i'm not good enough to be the only one for him, i have been trying so hard. The fact that he is cheating with me on me with old, fat, or extremly ugly chicks just makes me feel like i'm oe step above dirt... how can i make him tell me the whole truths? or should i leave him? should i still try? should i tell him how i feel etc.? he tells me i'm the only one but i still have my doubts, i have never toucheda nother man nor cheated on him this whole time. it has only been him. any advice? or comments? i dont like feeling like dirt, or not being able to trust him.
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cheated on me, flowers, his ex, horny, jealous, my ex, myspace, overweight, porn, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 February 2010):
He's cheated, he's lied, he's cheated some more. He's not even that into you anymore. Get away from this man. You can do so much better. He wont' change.
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