A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 36 weeks pregnant with baby #2. We have been married for 5 1/2 years and already have a son who is almost 4. We were more like roommates than a married couple, but I never imagined he would be cheating on me. Man..I was wrong! He withheld sex for the past year, and now I know why. He was emotionally and physically attached to her. I found the cell phone bill and realized he has 6300 texts per month and 22 calls to her (ranging from 15 min-65 min each). Once I got him to admit what he had done, he said he loves her and no longer has feelings for me. Great, huh? He left our house that evening and hasn't been back since. He said he wants a divorce. He had NO INTENTIONS of telling me about her nor did he have intentions to leave me until I caught him.The woman he had the affair with only lives 1.5 miles from our house. He said they are in love and that my children will have to meet her someday. That hurts! He said we have grown apart (well, including dating, we have been together 10 years...everyone will have rough spots in a relationship after that long). He is 28 and I am 27. The woman he is having an affair with is 35 and have three children herself. She is STILL MARRIED, but they have been separated for the past 4 years. She lives with her father and her three children. She doesn't even have a job. My husband is now living with his father. Ironic thing is, he was use to communicating with this "woman" via text messaging and the internet...since he left me, he will not have texting (he can't afford it) and his father doesn't have internet service...LOL! His father doesn't even have cable...what a great life!My question is, will this man ever regret leaving his family. Most of all, will he ever regret leaving me while pregnant and not being there when she is born? I just feel so bad for the children. They are the ones who will suffer. I made numerous attempts to get him to stay and get marital counceling, but he says he loves this other woman and is not willing. Without me in his life, he will have nothing. My family is well off and were able to provide him with a life he could only dream of (new house, new car, etc.) Leaving me, he will now be dating a married woman with three children that lives with her parents. I filed for child support and after the baby is born, he will only be left with $400 per month to live off of (due to extremely high daycare costs for two children). He filed for custody and was only granted every other weekend, so he won't even get to see his children often. Looks like he will be living with his dad for at least the next 5 years while we have children in daycare! I'm sure this woman will be quite impressed when he can't even take her out on a date. Will he ever regret all of this? Do you think his "affair" will last?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): I 'm sure he will one day regret it, and I doubt it will last between hin and the other women but really who cares if it does. you shouldn't want him back regardless. he sounds like a selfish pri*k to me, move on and find someone worthy of your love and trust!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): RAINORFIRE: Your response was RUDE to say the least! I wasn't bragging by any means. The only thing my parents helped us with was purchasing a home (since my husband and I weren't able to do it alone and our son needed a home to settle into so we would be in a good school district before he started school) and they helped him get the truck of his "dreams" since the Honda Civic we could afford wasn't good enough for him. He threw a fit and to keep him happy my parents personally financed the truck for us so he would be satisfied. So...maybe now you see who the selfish one is...it's him. When he was 18 he got a trust fund for $120,000 and was able to blow it within two years. It shows you how much he relies on money for happinesss.
I was the one in the relationship that always settled for the clothing from Ebay so he could have his Affliction and Abercrombie. I was a great wife. I work full time, take care of ALL of the responsibilities for our son, always had a home cooked meal EVERY NIGHT and was always there for him.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (18 January 2010):
It is obvious that he will regret it. But I am wondering how much say/ authority he had in your home. If he just walked into money, and was constantly reminded "I don't need you, my daddy can look after me" etc., maybe it was too much for him. Worse if your family together with you reminded him how lucky he was. I hate to say this but is it possible that he married you for money and not for love? And now he has changed his mind? Sadly after children were involved.
Nevertheless, your focus is now on your pregnancy and the children. If he wants to go stay with an older woman with 3 kids then the fairytale will end on its own. While money can't buy love, a family life cannot be sustained without it. They were having fun on stolen moments but now that they have time to constantly be in each other's faces, their days are numbered.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (18 January 2010):
 lol This is kind of funny i can see why this guy left you im not saying its rite but i think i can see why,any ways you have a ton of qestions no one can answer.
Will he regret it maybe but i think he will regret getting you pregnant more then anything because of all the child support he has to pay. Im thinking he thought this out before leaving you and he probably feels being with this other woman is worth the financial sacrifice,
As for the chilldren there young they will get over it if you dont become a spitefull ex wife and make a big deal about it they wont another thing do not use the children as leverage eg withholding visitation.
Its wrong what he did but it seems to me this man wants to stand on his own two feet,"My family is well off and were able to provide him with a life he could only dream of"
thats the line that kinda makes me think hmmm, lol what do you kno what he dreams of, sounds to me your guy is tired of the free ride and you holding it over his head.
But hold your breath he mite come back to you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 January 2010):
Well, though I know it's hard for you, and I'm sure you're hurt, I just want to say well done for standing up for your kids and taking him for all he's worth :). Good for you. As for whether the relationship will last between him and her, chances are it won't because she's still married and doesn't seem to be wanting to leave. It's more likely she's just using him as an escape. And even if they did get together, the chances are it won't work out. I'm sure one day, when his kids ask why he wasn't there, he will suddenly realize he made a big mistake. The most important thing now is that you focus on yourself and your children. That's all that matters. Stay strong for them, make sure they know they're loved and they'll turn out fine. You and your kids are all that matter now.
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