A
female
age
30-35,
*acksMama
writes:Hi, when I first found out I was pregnant I was the happiest i ever felt. I had the most wonderful fiance and then a baby on the way. things couldn't be more perfect. I was writing love quotes all over an sending him cute text messages, I was in perfect happiness. Til one day I came home from a pregnancy doctors appt. to find him watching porn. After that my heart sank. I don't think I would have had a problem if I was the size of a cow! I felt awful about the whole thing I cried, he kept apologizing. after that i tried to be happy an let things try an go back to normal. Then my son was born! There it was again, happiness! I was happy with my new family an it was just great.. then I caught my fiance with porn again and since then everything went down hill. I just gave birth an was healing from an episiotomy, my belly was covered in stretch marks and my boobs were so engorged they hurt to look at. I felt disgusting but yet hes looking at porn. It killed me yet again to have this happen. Its been maybe two months since and for some reason I just dont feel that happiness that i had before. We talked all about the porn issue after several arguments but things were put out in the air an cleared away yet all we still do is fight an argue, rarely have sex an spend barely any time alone cuz it just never turns out right... were did all the happiness go. I love my fiance but i just dont feel as happy as I once had. There are no more love quotes or little texts messages, nothing. What should I do? I love this man but things just dont feel the same and I want them to go back but I dont know how.. Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): Awww i know it soo hurtful when your at your lowest point feeling so unattractive and your post pregnancy body doesnt make you feel any better, unfortunatly the fact is that men like porn, it doesnt mean he wants to have sex with her its just visual he still loves you and thats all that matters you need to rebuild your confidence and boost your sex drive again.
Ive been there myself and was depressed for a long time over it, I was pregnant and watched some porn with my (ex) and we both got turned on but while we were having sex he didnt look at me once, his neck was bent looking at the televison and he made me feel so shit about myself it was awful.
But in your case and im not making excuses for him but maybe he was watching porn because he just wanted a quick release, i mean honestly how busy are you when you have a new born?? he probably didnt want to keep saying im horny lets have a quicky because it doesnt work like that when you have kids.
I dont think he ment any harm porn is just a quick visual that helps men orgasm quicker thats all. anyway i hope you both work it out you have a beautiful child to think about now so concentrate on that :)
A
female
reader, harleygirl2010 +, writes (13 December 2010):
 I guess i can see where your coming from on that
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A
female
reader, JacksMama +, writes (12 December 2010):
JacksMama is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey guys no your right that porn is normal an yes he was just releiving himself I understand that but what I am meaning is like Im covered in stretch marks an gained weight and dont look like those girls and physically cant do half the stuff they do. It isnt that he watched it really but how I felt about myself after that. Plus its upsetting Im sure youd understand but now i just dont feel happy as i did before. I dont feel that perfect-ness I once had.
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A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 Is there a reason why you have a problem with him watching porn?
Him watching porn doesnt mean he loves you any less.
Remember that you are still hormonal amd things like this may appear worse than they actually are.
Have you asked him why he is watching porn?
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A
female
reader, harleygirl2010 +, writes (12 December 2010):
I'm sorry to hear that your happiness disappeared. Maybe it's still there and you can't see it. He may have been watching porn as a way to "relieve" himself. Had ya'll been having sex during the pregnancy? IF not then maybe he was watching as a relief until you two were doing it again. It's natural to want to look but if it was just porn than it's ok. He may have wanted to have sex with you just you two hadn't done it because of the pregnancy and he needed to find that relief elsewhere without being unfaithful to you. That is all i can think of. I hope it helps you.
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