A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I desperately need help, I am caught in the middle between my ex and my ex ex boyfriend. I don’t see any way out. I need some advice please from as many of you as can spare me the time.I posted on here end of November as I was with a boyfriend at the time and happy, but then my ex boyfriend came back into my life and said he wanted me back before he went travelling for 6 months. This turned my world upside down and I realised I still had feelings for my ex. I did the honourable thing and talked things over with the current boyfriend and I ended things as I didn’t think it was fair to be with someone while still being in love with my ex. He took it badly and we didn’t talk for a month. During this month I was contacted by my ex boyfriend (who is travelling) by email and also phone, he didn’t talk about us or getting back together, but did suggest me going to see him abroad. That is the last I heard from him, we talked on the phone about what we could do and where we could go if I did go to see him abroad. I am up for it.However, I have not heard from him for 2 weeks now since this conversation, despite having sent him 2 emails. I am now waiting for him to get in touch basically so that I can book the flight and get all the arrangements confirmed.I am in a pickle because also, the boyfriend I dumped recently over my ex has come back into my life also and said he misses me and wants to be with me and would do anything for me, including helping me get over my ex. I know I could be happy with him, very happy in fact, but I am still in love with my ex. I don’t want to put my life on hold for my ex boyfriend who is travelling, and I do want to enjoy the here and now, my recent ex wants to meet me and take things slowly, show me he has changed (he couldn’t drive and is now taking lessons, he smoked weed and told me he has given it up for me). I want to meet him but also don’t want to lead him on, afterall it could turn out that I end up going to see my ex ex abroad and cause him heartache. I am torn between my ex ex who I love very dearly and deeply (although to be honest we are not that compatible), and the new guy who clearly thinks enough of me to make positive changes in his life for me and is willing to stand by me despite what I have put him through.All my friends and family tell me to enjoy the here and now and not sit around waiting for my ex ex who is travelling. I am a mess and very unhappy but I am confused.What should I do?! I want to do the right thing for everyone.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2009): If you're so torn, then neither of these men is right for you. Look for someone else.
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