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Can't understand why the girl I like has ' warm' moods and 'cold' moods with me...

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Question - (17 April 2005) 1 Answers - (Newest, 18 April 2005)
A , anonymous writes:

There's this girl at work which I really like. She has

one of the sweetest smiles around & she usually gives

me this special looks (the way she stares at me) which

in my opinion shows that she's interested in me.

Every time she stares at me & when I look back at her she would give me those sweet smiles.

It all started when we were paired to work together. At that time she told me that she was having difficulty in sleeping. So I got her a pack of chamomile tea which is useful as a sleeping aid. She was really pleased with that gift & even said 'you're so sweet!' From there we got to know each other better. We would tease & flirt with each other whenever we are working together (or nearby each other). We can communicate & make each other laugh (a lot!). Sometimes we would text each other till the wee hours.

That's the best part but there's something about her which I don't understand at all. There were times when she just didn't look like too keen to interact with me. I would understand if this happens once in a while but this off-on behaviour is quite frequent. I noticed that she would be very nice & communicative with me whenever she's working beside or nearby me or when she's in the mood.

When she's not in the mood whenever she talks to me she would try not look at me that often. She would take a look elsewhere or look at her phone (just to name a few). It seems this 'I'll talk if I want to talk' kind of attitude is only for me because when she's in that mood her interaction with the other people are usually ok. She would smile & laugh as usual!

But that didn't stop me from asking her out twice. I didn't get a straight yes as an answer but only 'yeah sure, we'll go out some time' without any hesitation. When I ask for a second time she said 'I'm actually looking forward to go out with you but I'm a bit busy at the moment. I promise you that we'll go out one day. I'll tell you when'.

At that time I have the feeling that she didn't want to disappoint me so she came up with those reasons. But I told myself only time will tell whether she'll keep her promise. Three months had gone by & I'm still waiting. I'm disappointed because she could have said no nicely to me if she wasn't interested. At least that's being honest. Now I'm asking myself whether I should ask her again.

Before I asked her out I did ask a colleague who is quite close to her whether she is seeing anyone & the answer is no. But she did tell me that she has no plans to have a relationship in one of our casual conversations. I'm not sure whether she means it or

not as girls are known to say one thing & do another.

If she really means it then why was she giving off 'some signals' like encouraging me to make some kind of move? When I did, she was cold. Why giving me all

those special looks & why flirt with me if she's not

interested. I think it's unfair to use her womanly

ways to entice me and then be so mean & cold. I just don't get it. Is she playing games with me?

I really like her but I just don't quite understand her on-off behaviour towards me. Probably she's as confused as I am about this whole thing. Probably she had been stung in her past relationships which make her think twice. Well I don't know. What I know is probably I should let her know my feelings so that I know where I stand. May be I should just continue to be her friend & let nature takes its course.

Perhaps I can make do with some your advices. Thank you.

View related questions: at work, flirt, girl at work, her past, in the mood, text

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A male reader, harshbutfair United Kingdom +, writes (18 April 2005):

harshbutfair agony auntYes she is playing games with you and YES that's how a lot of girls are. Just keep things cool, don't lose your head OR let her into yours. If things develop, then all well and good. Good luck, kiddo. You'll need it.

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