A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I came from a quite conservative family, with my mom not really cool about the ideal with me having a relationship before marriage. She even said my husband will not respect me if I had sex before him. I met my first boyfriend and had sex the first time quite late(in my mid twenties). At first he was all nice and sweet, I would have breakfast on the table when I wake up, was really sweet in bed, and also gifts and small trips to beautiful places. We got married not long ago after almost a year of courtship. But as time passed he showed his abusive sides. He started yelling at me, warning he will hit me. Always very emotional. He started hitting me with a pillow, kicking me, pushing me down from my chair, the worst time he choke me and I almost couldn't breath. I later found out the second day he called a lawyer to ask about divorce. I think the lawyer also told him that if he hits me it is very bad for his side in the case for divorce. Since then he hasn't physically abused me. People around me wonder why I still stay in this relationship, but I guess because he has his good sides too. My husband cooks, cleans the house and takes care of me a lot(when he is not abusive)We have a big age difference so when I have difficulties either at work or other stuff he always gives me advice. His friends told him not to cook or clean, just leave it all to me. He's a shy and neat guy, I don't know why the love went sour, maybe we are not compatible.I don't want to leave him, but our relationship is having a lot of problems now. Please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): Being a man myself, I am biased to just say that he is an abusive jerk to put it kindly.
However, this is your marriage, and I can tell the relationship is important to you.
Like Annalisa said, you should talk to him, get some counseling, etc. if you want to keep things going.
But DO NOT stay in an abusive relationship.
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