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anonymous
writes: Does too much masturbation effect your performance when having sex? I can't seem to climax during sex- I think it's because I masturbate too much to porn.
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female
reader, princessjasmine  +, writes (30 April 2010):
porn is so visual and kinky, the fact that its not u in the act makes it so much more kinky and orgasmic, its weird, the kinkier the better to orgasm to....i have the same problem and im a woman. I stopped watching porn b/c i was addicted to it, watching men on men, women on women, whatever kinky worked....i CAN orgasm to sex but it takes a lot longer and i have to really focus on something 'kinky' on my partner (like his nipples, or i once imagined him naked holding his dog....it was kinky and it worked) i hate that i have to htink so kinky to orgasm, im afraid im gona run outa kinky things to think about :( idk wat to do!
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 April 2010):
 Yes masturbation and porn can actually impede your ability to orgasm from sex. Your hand can provide a lot more friction and pressure than a vagina or mouth can and if you get really used to it something soft just won't do it for you. As for the porn, that can impact it too. If you get too used to a lot of hardcore porn or even just watch a TON of porn and get used to always having that visual, just seeing your girlfriend (even if she's attractive) it can just not be enough to get you there. Don't worry, this is all fixable. For awhile, you need to just go cold turkey on both porn and masturbation. Of course long-term, masturbation is not only OK, it's healthy. But at this point, the sexual frustration of having to wait for your orgasm will make it easier to orgasm from your partner. Once you find that you are consistently able to orgasm through oral or penetrative sex then it's "safe" to masturbate again. You shouldn't feel bad about this, it's actually a pretty common problem. If you work through this now I guarantee you'll be more sexually satisfied in future relationships.
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male
reader, pestpestpest  +, writes (21 April 2009):
I am an 18 year old male who has recently become sexually active with a girlfriend for about 3 months now.
Prior to this I masturbated extremely frequently (3-4 times a day), now I do not so much (1-2 times a day).
I do have this problem too, and during sexual activity I can't climax without masturbating myself - oral or penetration does not work.
I have decided to stop masturbating and stop looking at porn for the next few weeks to see how this affects things - I will post my findings here in a month for future reference.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2006): I disagree with 5frost3. i am an 18 year old male who just recently became sexually active in a monogamous (sp?) relationship. before going out with her a masturbated very frequently, msot of the time 2-3 times a day. once i started have sex and could not climax i started looking into it more, and have found that the masturbation can kill the sensitivity of a penis and i believe it had for me. i have masturbated only 3 times in the last 4 weeks, and yesterday was the first time i climaxed. the sex is much better since i quit masturbating regularly, and i believe it has brought me and my GF closer together.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2005): I would say your suspicions may be right. At the end of the day, pleasuring yourself and actually having penetrative sex are two completely different ways of reaching orgasm. When you masturbate, you control everything yourself, ie: the speed, firmness of grip or touching etc and whilst masturbation is not unhealthy as such, excessive masturbation can cause problems when having sex in the sense that you are not the one in control of when you are going to climax. If you have gotten too used to the way you masturbate then it is very likely that this could be the reason why you arent climaxing during sex. You do not state whether you are male or female, but, either way, knowing what will get you off while you are on your own is something your partner may be unaware of. Generally a woman would maybe use a sex toy and also stimulate the clitoris at the same time (either with the hand or with another toy), and because you are the one that knows your body best, with time, it is entirely possible that you can climax within a few minutes doing "what you know you like". If you are a guy I guess that masturbation is also quicker, due to the fact that your grip and the stimulation you give yourself is finely tuned to help you climax quicker. Either way, whether you are male or female its not the porn in my opinion, just the fact that you masturbate a lot. If you are in a long-term relationship, talk with your partner about this, then you can overcome this problem together. If the sex you are having is generally casual encounters I would not wory too much about it. My advice on the whole would be to cut down on your self-pleasuring (if you can), and try to get back to how I presume you used to be. I have had a simlar problem myself from time to time and have found that taking more time with your partner over sex, and exploring each others bodies totally, will help a lot over time. First off though, STOP worrying, as usually, in a situation like this, if it is playing on your mind, it can exaggerate the problem and make things even worse!Best of luck
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reader, 5frost3 +, writes (9 April 2005):
Don't worry too much as this is really common; there are a lot of men who can't climax either during intercourse or oral sex. It is not your fault and it certainly is not the fault of porn and masturbation; if it was, there would be lots of men who couldn't climax.If you want to be able to achieve orgasm there may be ways you could manage it. Try using different positions as some can stimulate you more in ways that are not achieved during others. Try using different types of foreplay first as this could help you get more fired up when it comes to the big moment.Experimentation is the best way forward, and you can always have some fun while you try!
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