A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I found explicit emails between my lesbian partner and a man on craigslist. I found some printed copies of her replies to a mans advert on craigslist. The man wanted to meet her for fun in exchange for money. My partner always brags about being 100% gay never been with a man and how much she hates them. Now I found her emails and when asked she said she was just playing with him. To her that's not cheating as she keep saying she didn't met him. But she printed the emails as he had his number on it probably to use later after removing the emails from her email inbox.Now she is trying to play the victim and telling me she is not BI, never intend to meet him but she was just emailing for fun. What does that mean? Can you please advise what to do? Why did she do that if she didn't had intention to meet him? It's hard to believe her. Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 June 2016):
 This is the sad thing sometimes, when someone cheats and their partner forgives them, a lot of the time they see this as a way off being able to cheat because they got away with it, its almost like she lost respect for you the moment you forgave her for being with someone else. She is now talking to another man, and more than likely she did meet up with him, but she knows you will probably forgive her so she lies to you. Even if she wasn't lying, what sort off person messes with someones head like that? Why pretend to want to have sex with someone? That is messed up. I am sorry that you are going through this, but if you forgive her she will only keep doing it to you sweetie, good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2016): Yes You guys are right who does this kinda thing!!I thought she was true to me and always believed her when she said that she has never been with a man. She judged me by being bi in the past but I have never cheated on her. We have been in a Civil Partnership for over 5 years and this is what i was least expected to find.
All I know she has not been honest with me and she did cheated on me with women in the past but I have forgiven her as she cried and begged me, but now after this I am so hurt and feel really stupid to have trusted her.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (21 June 2016):
 This one is so easy. Take gender out of this right now.
If she were emailing explicitly with another woman on Craigslight, you'd see her for a cheater and drop her at the slightest hint of her even thinking about justifying this behavior.
So WHAT if it's a guy or a girl? She's CHEATING on you! Gender is absolutely and utterly irrelevant! What she SAYS is worthless. What she DID is everything.
She is a cheater and a liar. It doesn't matter whether or not she met him or not. She spit on you, your love, and your relationship by acting in this fashion, and degraded herself in the process.
Break up with her, like Honeypie said. You confronted her, she gave a lame ass explanation that fed into the BS stereotype that a bisexual has to have both at the same time, or that just because she was being explicit with some random guy on Craigslist (did I mention that she's putting YOU at risk by doing this crap???), that it's not really the same as cheating because she's telling you that she's "not really serious".
She's lying. Whether she's contacting a woman or a man is utterly meaningless. Treat it like she's coming on to other women and leave the cheater. The only victim is the one she's mistreating right now by her action AND by her justification and lying, and that's you. End the relationship now.
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (21 June 2016):
 I would be horrified if this happened and I have to agree with Honeypie, I'd leave her too.I don't think she is playing. I think she is curious.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 June 2016):
 I means she is full of crap.
She saved his number for a reason.
Personally, if MY partner did this? I'd walk away. Yes, she hasn't physically cheated, but what she is doing is NOT OK in most relationships.
And seriously? What kind of person plays mind-games with men on Craigslist? That is messed up.
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