A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:dear readers, i have been with my wife for a year now, and our sex life is already terrible. its not the same as in the past as u would understand. what can i do to spice things up? toys, games, punishment - if u get my drift ;) i want to do something unusual. plz help, ur suggestions would b great thanks.
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male
reader, daletom  +, writes (5 January 2008):
My wife & I have a tradition of spreading blankets and bedding on the floor of the great room during the holidays and making love by the light of the Christmas tree. As every child who ever waited for Santa Claus knows, the light from a Christmas tree is magic!
And we've done it in every room in the houses where we've lived. And outdoors. And standing waist-deep in the ocean, 50 yards off a public beach (after dark!). And in the restroom of a passenger train. And in a private room on a passenger train - at night - with the shades open - love on the run, while the world rushes past.
But these may not be good ideas for YOU!
Here's a better approach: pick up a few issues of the popular magazines that publish sex-related articles. I don't mean porno stuff; in the U.S. "Cosmopolitan" and "Redbook" are probably your best bets. Every issue has some article like "The Most Romantic Places to Make Love" or "50 Ways to Drive Your Guy Crazy in Bed". Or they have some survey, showing (for example) what percentage of women think bald men are sexy, what percent of men can't climax when on their back, etc.
Then discuss these articles - TOGETHER. Do you and your wife agree, for instance, with the choices of "Romantic Places to Make Love"? Are you in the majority, or minority, on the survey questions? Will those "50 Ways ..." REALLY drive you crazy in bed, or drive you to boredom? You will discover new things about each other, and your preferences, that you never knew. Like, "I thought we did doggy style because YOU like doggy style!". And you'll pick up new ideas, and turn each other on, in the process.
A variation of this idea is to get copies of GOOD sex manuals. "Joy of Sex" and "More Joy of Sex" were published over 35 years ago (don't ask how I know that!) and are still the best in my opinion. You can get them on E-Bay for as little as US$5 each. If you haven't seen them, they are probably NOT what you imagine them to be!
Read them together, like I suggested above. Or read them separately and pass them back and forth, with sticky notes marking Certain Special Pages. Some day one of you might find the book on your car seat (discretely covered by a newspaper), with some cryptic note like "Let's try page 217 some time!".
Have fun!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): I am not sure if this is any help at all but I have just read an article on Tantric Sex and I have to say I am intrigued. Apparently you can go on courses and it is all about the spiritual side of sex and the experience of those couples who have been on it was really positive - maybe showing your partner you are really keen to be loyal, try something new and invest for the long term is the answer. Edible thongs, feathers and battery operated toys are just so....... off the shelf.
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