A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:There is a function on tomorrow night that I badly want to go to but I am really scared as I will be going on my own which I don't really like and there is a fair chance my ex will be there. I don't know how to handle it.I figured that I needed to get back into socialising. This is a one-off social event to do with an interest that my ex and I enjoyed and since it is a very masculine hobby, I figured that there would be lots of men there that I would share a common interest with. I hate going out on my own because I feel so vulnerable and I much prefer the company of other people I know, but all my friends have settled down and are watching their money so they don't really get out much. When I have been out with male friends, other guys just presume we are an item. So, I figure the only way I am going to meet guys is if I go out by myself.I am very shy but I really really want to give this a go as I think I will regret it more if I don't go than if I do. I have never felt comfortable around men, particularly a large number of very masculine men, so this will be a real challenge for me. I think I am more bothered if my ex turns up because he will be with his mates and I will be on my own and I will look like I have no friends. My ex and his best mate took the teasing too far last time and I felt really uncomfortable. My ex has since apologised for making me feel bad and asked me to forgive him. I am sure he is going to think that I have gone there because he is there, but I am going there to meet people with a similar interest and hopefully meet a nice man too. I don't want to sit there on my own thinking everyone is looking and thinking 'what a sad person, she's got no friends' while everyone else is chatting and having a good time.I really want a lot of encouragement from you guys, tips to handle the ‘I’m sitting here on my own and feeling so uncomfortable feeling’, conversational skills, and when you see ex’s, etc. Basically lots of tips on everything I’ve written! Thank you so much and Happy Easter!
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money, my ex, shy, teasing Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (8 April 2007):
 Copy and paste the FULL link of "how to feel inner confidence and radiance" (only part of it has shown up) okay?
Eve
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (8 April 2007):
First of all can I say well done to you girl for considering going here on your own! You are right to do this and challenge yourself. You know you can do this, in fact you can do absolutely anything you desire! You need to syche yourself up a few days before you go, tell yourself that you are a confident, beautiful woman and you are very choosy about who you date (hence the reason you are going by yourself to eye up/analyse the talent there.) If you go there assuming you are billy no mates then you will come across as just that. Be confident and feel free to talk to other people there, male and female. Let them know in conversation (if they ask who you are there with) that the friend you had going with you couldn't make it but you didn't want to miss the function so at the last minute decided to come by yourself. Chat openly about the subject of the event and get their views on it, soon you'll have the conversation flowing and the guys eating out of your hands.
Remember, guys like confident women. Make sure you look terrific and smell good. Take time with your make up and wear something that makes you FEEL confident and that you know you look good in. Make sure it is classy and makes a statement, something elegant, feminine and shows off your best features without being too revealing! Tell yourself that you are a beautiful, intelligent woman and believe it!!! If you see your ex then don't get flustered, tell yourself you KNOW he is going to be there, don't let it bother you, be proud of who you are and think to yourself how sorry he is that he broke up with you, that it's HIS loss not yours.
Here is a link that I hope will help you. "How to feel inner confidence and radiance."
http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Feel-Inner-Confidence-and-Radiance&id=464915
You might also want to watch a movie called "The Secret". It will teach you how to keep thinking POSITIVE thoughts rather than negative ones. It costs $4.95 (£2.50) to watch from your PC immediately. The more positively you think, the more positivity you will draw from the universe! Trust me, it really does work.
http://thesecret.tv/home.html
Go to that function and most of all enjoy it! Be proud of who you are, be confident in yourself and you'll surprise yourself more than you ever thought possible. Let me know how it goes, I'd love to hear. Good luck! ;o)
Eve
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