A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I havn't really had it easy when i was younger, but not exactly hard, the thing is, i always seem to be down, i barely eat or sleep[not purposly], i don't have any best friends, as we've all have our ups and downs, so we've all drifted apart, i have no look what so ever when it comes to relationships, i have self harmed in the past just to calm myself down and everyday i'll end up in my room in floods of tears, everyday with a new reason. I'm sick and tired of feeling this way, but it's been going on for years. I'd love to be able to talk to someone about it, but i just can't bring myself to do it. I was bullied for couple of years when i was younger, so i have no self confidence as i never let anybody find out, could this be a reason why?I don't know why i feel like this, but i've tried to turn things around, but nothing at all seems to help. I'm scared i might end up doing something i know i'll regret, and just want to know whats wrong with me, am i maybe depressed, even though i'm only fourteen? Life just seems a mess right now, and please, any advice would be great, thankyou.x
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best friend, bullied, confidence, depressed Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): I'm glad you're doing something.There is not a whole lot of difference between normal for a 14yo and depressed for a 14yo. It's very hard to tell sometimes.But the bullying thing is IMPORTANT. It happened to me just like what you're saying. I know it has literally changed my whole life when I look back on it now. It's not just the bullying itself, it's the effects later. You don't want to get close to people even a long time after it's over. Like years. And eventually that becomes its own all-new set of problems.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni posted this question quite a while back now,
but thankyou so much to those who replied.
it helped me so much.
i managed to talk to my mum about what i was going through,
&she was really supportive.
couldn't of done it without any of this advice.
so thanks again.
x
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A
female
reader, WiccanWonder +, writes (20 April 2008):
 I was deppressed, and im only 12 so yeah it is possible. Do you have an anti-bullying group like what we call ABC+ (Anti-bullying in cornwall) If you do, go and see them!
If you dont, talk to a trusted teacher.
Get try and get you off deppression, maybe join an after-school activity to meet some new people and make friends so you have more surport!
Dont self-harm, just think of all the things you'll miss out on if you die! I know i put it bluntly but, its true!
I hope this helps and you start to feel happier soon.
Blessed be
Tasha xxx
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A
female
reader, lil_lezza +, writes (2 April 2008):
 Im exactly the same, constantly in a foul mood and hiding in my bedroom crying or staring at a wall im that sad. Sometimes i forget to eat and drink, i get loads of headaches and stomach pains. I used to self harm, i kind of got addicted to it. I knew it was wrong and bad for me but whenever i got sad i couldnt help it i just had to get the blade. Now whenever i get upset or angry i hit myself or throw things, not great but the pain or mess distracts me for a while. I have no friends my age and rarely see my other friends. Me and my partner only get to see each other once a week, which depresses me more. Im starting to get too clingy now and its ruining our relationship so i know i have to stop. Its really hard to know how to though and where to go for help. But its really good that youve managed to speak out. When you get really low try doing something you enjoy. I like writing and drawing, so id write stories about a girl who was going through the same or id draw my emotions. I hope you manage to sort your head out and anytime you need to chat, just message me. Ive got alot of experience with depression so i can answer your questions or help. you can do it, thats what my partner says. xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): Awww...you poor thing! Can you really not talk to anyone about this? How about your parents or any relatives that you trust? Does anyone have any idea of how depressed you are?
I'd say that you need to either get back with your old friends or get some new ones. You need people who care about you and support you and cheer you up...But that's going to be hard without self-esteem.
Try to build your confidence up. I'm sorry that you were bullied - but it's over now and, impossible as it may seem, you've got to keep moving on with your life.
Try to eat and drink enough. It will help.
Do you have any hobbies or anything you enjoy doing? You could try something new so that you find somethin that you enjoy and that keeps your mind busy for a while?
Hope these suggestions help. And I hope you get over this really soon. x x x
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (1 April 2008):
 It's entirely possible to be depressed at your young age. You should really try to talk about this with your parents or the school counsellor if you are feeling overwhelmed. I think that you should consider getting some help to get through this. There is no shame in feeling this way, everyone needs a little help now and then. There are signs that you should look for as the hitting bottom when you are depressed. One of the biggest is if you start to think that you are a big bother to everyone else and that everybody would be better off without you. If you do have thoughts like this, please reach out for help immediately to a caring adult. Sir Winston Churchill was plagued by depression, he called it "the Black Dog". Many brilliant people have had to deal with this disease, and it is a disease. If it is a serious case, and it has gone on for far too long, it causes a chemical imbalance in your brain, which can be very easily helped these days with medication and therapy. Even if this is a mild depression, I have to tell you that very few adults say that their teenage years were the best in their lives. They can be extremely hard to get through, as a matter of fact. I hope that you are able to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with your parents about all of this, that would be the first thing that I would recommend. I am rooting for you and I know that you have the inner-strength to get through this. You sound like a very intelligent young person, and reaching out to other people is the best way to help yourself. Big Hugs. I'm very impressed with justgirl's answer and I think that she had some good advice and some lovely insight into this as well. As you can tell from this column's answers, there are plenty of other people who have a tough time getting through their teen years, so your not alone in this and our hearts are all with you, and you should take advantage of all of the young people here who are reaching out and wanting you to contact them. Take Care Hun. You can feel free to write me too. XXX
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): I suggest if you talk to someone, you don't go to your head teacher or anything unless you want your parents and a consuellor to know. This happened to me early last month (March) and totally backstabbed. It was a difficult situation and obviously a lot went into it, but if you want to see a conseullor confidentially, I suggest you do that on your own and not via the school.
Head Masters - although not ACTUALLY stated in the law - may feel obleged to tell people they don't have to e.g. social services.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): Show me a teenager that isn't depressed over the same crap you are and I'll show you a liar.
Seriously kid, just remember. It could all be so much worse for you, so count your luck that you even have a place to live and food to eat and can wake up each day and leave it the fuck at that.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, thebethany  +, writes (31 March 2008):
You sound really depressed, and if you hold it in you will snap. I was depressed at your age, tried to hang myself actually, but I am fine now (I'm 19) and im so glad im alive. You need to talk to someone and get to the root of your problems, a teacher at school, a family member, a neighbour, a councellor, anyone you trust who you think could help you get through this period in your young life and do go on anti-depressents, they just blunt your feelings and make u kinda like your always awake but in a coma and dead to everything, you need to speak to a councellor really. It's important you get help.Maybe call beyond blue. GOOD LUCK and WELL DONE for speaking out
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008): Try this link its free its confidential http://www.samaritans.org/
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008): When I was your age I went through exactly the same thing. I'm one year older now and I STILL go through the same thing. I've tried to commit suicide over it, and I was talking to my teacher about it.Talking to someone does, help. However, you need to sort it out. I'm failing my GCSE's about it. I was once an A grade now I'm fighting for those C's and B's. This isn't meant to make you panic by the way, but to try and convince you to get it sorted out. I didn't want my parents to know, but they found out - it's a very long story with some painful consquences. I'm in a bit of a pickle now with trying to get social services and a consuellor out of my life.Back to you - you CAN be depressed at your age, and you CAN do something about it. But you need to actually do it.I don't know if that helps...it's a bit vague...Take care,
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reader, AppleBottomJeans +, writes (31 March 2008):
it is possible to be depressed at 14, you can be depressed at any age. is there someone who youre close to in your family that you could talk to? your mum maybe? if so try, however hard it is, to talk to them. just start by sayin 'ive got a problem...' then you might need to visit the doctor to possibly get treatment if you are depressed. hope it helps n good luck! msg me if you wanna talk! x
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reader, TAYL0Rshawtyy.  +, writes (31 March 2008):
 heyy! I'm TAYLOR. I think you should do something to allow you to have more fun like at school, walk up to people who look cool or fun to talk to and introduce yourself with a compliment like this : "ooh, I love your hair, it's so pretty and straight. I'm ____ by the way. How'd you get your hair like that?"If they're a cool person and like meeting new people, that'll get them to start a conversation with you because they'll be like: blah blah I straightend it blah. Then you'll say: oh what I did to my hair-See? It's kinda easy and when you get new friends, you can hang out with them and stuff instead of sitting at home, like going to the mall and stuff together .Maybe even try out for a team at school, I'm a cheerleader. If you don't make the team, don't get a bad attitude and put yourself down, you can always try out next year or do something different. When you come to tears, try to hold them in. I still cry, but not as much as I used to because I practiced holding them in and it became a habit. Instead of crying, also what I did was write down why I felt like crying and on the other side why I shouldn't cry and how to ignore those things. I know it sounds kinda LAME but so what ?you can message me anytime ! --TAYLOR .*
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