A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i never wantedlove until i met my boyfriend at 17..but surprisingly weve fell deeply in love at a young age weve been together 1 year and four months and have been threw alot...its going great..im 19 now and hes 18 i have a promise ring that he got me after 3months...we love eachother he wants to get married but i told him to wait until were 25...i kno if i stayed with him we will diffenently get married..he wants it, our families want this, but im afriad im tying myself down too early sometimes...i think im afriad of committiment becuz im only 19 i want to live my life..i want to experince other men...a big part of me is happy with just him but a little part of me is scared to waste my life in a committed relationship too soon...but i dont want to lose him. i go back and forth with this any advice Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2010): I was in a very similar situation myself; I fell in love when I was 15 and he was 17, we started officially dating at 16 and 19, and we started questioning it when I was 18 and he was 20. I was questioning whether I'd want to "live my life" and "meet new people", if we'd really last through our college years, and if we even should. (Turns out he was not the guy for me, and in fact had many deep-seated problems like depression keeping him from living a good life.) We lasted until I was 24 and he was 26. By the time we broke up, we had had many years of unhappiness and dysfunction.
So that's my story. Yours is different; it is unique to you. Maybe your guy is the one best suited to you. Your doubts are already there, though, and they are persistent. They won't go away. My advice? Get out sooner rather than later, have your life experiences, and maybe you will end up together. A teacher at my high school (the guidance counselor actually) broke up with her high school sweetheart at graduation, dated other people during college, and got back together with her high school sweetheart and married him as soon as college was over. They're happily married middle-aged people now. So it can have a happy ending. I think you're too young to know who is right for you now. I think your doubts are scary (I know because I've been there). I think the best thing to do is face those doubts, so then they don't ruin your relationship, which might otherwise be fine.
A
male
reader, Eruantion +, writes (18 May 2010):
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but from the short little bit you just posted... you have about a 1%-2% chance of success with this guy. I've seen it time and again; and trust me, it's going to hurt bad when you break up.
I recomend reading the book: "Dateable: Are you? Are they?" by Justin Lookadoo and Hayley Morgan. I read it a couple years ago, and it talks alot about your situation.
I wish you luck in the dating world. It's a scary and amazing place.
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A
male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (18 May 2010):
 Nothing anybody here is going to say will click with you about this, and I dont think your going to get any different answers, but I promise you, getting together that young(as I was in the exact same boat)is a bad idea, sooner or later your going to wanna bang other people, live life on your own, not tied down, and it's going to hurt when that happens, bad, it sounds like your already questioning this, as your not completely blind to the fact it may happen, now is the time of your life to have fun, meet people, bang other people, and enjoy life, or you'll grow extremely resentful of him, and feel he's the reason you havent got to live your life, which isnt the case, but you'll sure feel like it! but do what you want!
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