A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:after eight years at a company I worked for, being sworn at and being on poor wages. I resigned from, as the assistant boss was disrespectful to me and has no compassion for other people. a female collegue who I’ve known for many years, decided to jump ship. I was sad to see her go as we were the best of friends. she said she was going to university and would go travelling for a year, as some people do. feel the real reason was because of the assistant boss, I didn’t quiz her on this, she gave me a hug and said her goodbyes to me, she was also upset to leave and also to say goodbye to me, strange because I’m not everyone’s cup of tea to an extent. after the weeks have gone by, she messaged me on facebook to see how I was getting on and we did a bit of catching up, which was good and was pleased she got in touch, as most people don’t do facebook as it can be toxic. after we had spoken things were fine and she said she would be in touch as soon as she was able. she was enjoying the course she was doing and made friends there, which I was pleased with.one of her friends, I knew from school, but I didn’t know she was friends with a certain female who I know. apologies if there are a lot of I’s in this, the friend who I knew, told me she didn’t know who I was, when she knew full well, I get this nonsense all the time, with people, where it’s from my old school or one I went to many years ago. left things be, then after few days messaged and asked her why she was talking nonsense, she then sent me a picture of a pretty boy with a beard wearing red lipstick, don’t know why she would send such a thing, anyway this cheesed me off and I started to give her a piece of my mind. anyway my ex colleague from work messages me and asks why I was bullying her, didn’t reply to this, as I couldn’t be bothered or to be lectured. we haven’t spoken in a few days, I miss our friendship and things were great until this happened. is the friendship a point of no return or can it still survive?please help
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2022): I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense to you wiseowl, your quite right the sentences are a bit squew riff, meaning a bit out of place. I was in pain writing it and was upset, which you rightly pointed out.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2022): P.S.
Dear Sir,
I know that your post may have been written in the midst of pain and emotion; but some of the run-on sentences and grammar errors make the post difficult to read and understand. I tend to go-back and correct my own spelling, grammar, and syntax; because I owe it to readers of DC to clearly express myself, since they've taken the time to read my windy and lengthy responses. I know they may be long, but I appreciate their concerns; and I want to give the OP and other readers good answers. We may not agree, but I still respect their time and concerns.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 January 2022):
 Like you said, Facebook can be toxic.
It seems like the chick who sent you the picture of the bearded lipstick "person"? Probably were thinking they were OH so funny or she wanted to create some drama. Either way, your best BET is to unfriend, delete people like that instead of getting into "arguments" online. Because it's a lose/lose situation.
As for your old coworker, I'd just leave it be for now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2022): Okay, you've given her a piece of your mind. Now leave it at that. Your best move is to completely remove yourself from this situation altogether. You didn't give any details on what you consider to be a piece of your mind; when ignoring that childish meme would have been the most mature reaction to it.
Let me educate you and some other readers about storms online. People will provoke you with something ambiguous, or totally nonsensible. That is to lure you into a possible tirade. You're being baited, and if you go for the bait; you could inadvertently spew a lot of threatening or highly derogatory commentary that can eventually be used against you.
People who like to provoke people often have a lot of enemies, and things could happen to them. If you don't want law enforcement knocking at your door as a person of interest for a crime, or being accused of a threat against someone; learn to delete, block, and move on. Save any future intimidation or threatening messages from those individuals; and file your own official complaints to the website, and to the police, depending on the level of threat.
You can unintentionally allow your temper to get the best of you. Once you've sent angry messages out into cyberspace, your written words can become a weapon against you.
You're mature enough to see things have soured, and salvaging a friendship out of the mire of drama isn't worth the trouble. You can make new friends. Somebody just might be trying to set you up. I'm not asking you to be paranoid, just use some common sense.
Sometimes friendships abruptly end due to misunderstandings or disagreement; or you're forced to allow them to fizzle-out as they start to decline. Unlike romantic-relationships, or family-relations that take a lot of emotional-investment; platonic-friendships often have a built-in timeline or expiration-date. Their continuation and maintenance will be based on the passage of time, distance, changes in our personalities, our age, morals, principles, and beliefs. You're not as close as lovers, and you don't share DNA. If they sour, and don't recover without requiring a whole lot of drama and turbulence, let them go. You don't fight to force them to continue; that's an act of desperation. If they don't want your friendship, have discarded, or betrayed it; don't let your hurt pride, arrogance, or aversion to rejection make you do something foolish. You can replace a friend as quickly as you lose one. There's no waiting period. Unlike romantic-relationships, marriages, or broken family-ties. It's quality not quantity that sustains the value of friendships.
If the other person isn't loving you as much as you love them; you have no choice, but to cut ties and move on. You may not like that, but it is what it is.
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