A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I am in my mid-20s and I think I'm falling for my old college professor (I'm guessing he's around 50). I had him for several classes. We have kept in touch quite a bit since I've graduated. We saw each other a lot last summer since I was helping him with something in his classroom. He would constantly look at me when I was at the computer (I saw him out of the corner of my eye) and when we talked he would always look me right in the eye. And sometimes when we talked he would look at me and blush, almost like he was embarrassed. He constantly kids around with me and pats me on the back. We email each other constantly and have even started talking on the phone. Our last conversation, about two weeks ago, lasted over half an hour. And he asked me over the phone if I was coming home for Thanksgiving. I said no, that I was coming home for Christmas. He then said "we should really get together for lunch sometime when you're in town." It was just really odd for him to just come right out and say something like that because he has always seemed like such a private person. I just can't stop thinking about him. I know it's wrong cause of the age difference but I'm no longer his student anymore. We are really good friends now, but part of me wishes it would be something more. We've known each other for about five years now. Can someone tell me if he feels the same way I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008): I have a relatively similar situation. I am friends with a Austrailian man (over Furcadia) and we have different time zones. We spend a lot of time together. Today it must have been very late for him at one point so he had to go to bed. I found myself mourning today, so I think I have become attached to him. I seem to have fallen for him. But he won't tell me how he feels about me. But I found out I am not the only one mourning for somebody they've become attached to. A good way to learn more about a large friendship between a man and a woman is to read about other's relationships. It helps alot for me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2008): Thank you, Teacake. I had forgotten to mention that he is not married.
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A
female
reader, Miquel  +, writes (15 November 2008):
I am in a similar situation. Deeply attracted to one of my lecturers. Now no longer my lecturer and now my friend... acknoledged on both sides. There is definatly a mutual attraction in our relationship which we have both loosly acknoledged. I feel it is very important for us both now that we do not allow our "Transferance" to turn into a sexual relationship. It would kill it for sure. I don't think it relates to age, simply the balance of power. It remains always with the lecturer and is rarely sumountable. However, I thougherly enjoy fantasising about this person and engage in sexual practices which involve this person without them being there and definatly do not tell them about this. We have long email conversations, have spoken on the phone, support each other through our mutual challenges, hug and kiss each other on the cheek. The thing is about human sexuality is that it is at it's most titillating and extraordinary when it is not realised. I am sure your friend feels the same way that you do.... in my case I am choosing to not go there physically in an absolute effort to preserve the other aspects the relationship brings into both of our lives.Though your circumstance may allow difference. I wish you emoional safety on your adventures......
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A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (15 November 2008):
 He obviously likes you and is attracted to you but men at his age will only mess with your head should he seduce you. He is probably married or has a relationship. Old men LOVE young girls. He sounds like a lot of trouble down the line.
Its very common for young girls to get a crush on older men, but I can tell you, he isn't as mature and worldly as you think! LOL When you are in your 30s and look back you are going to think a lot different about him than you do now.
He's a dirty old man and you give his ego a big boost. He doesn't deserve having a sweet, trusting, naive young girl for sure.
Also, being with an older man will make your mind a little unhealthy and you will find it heard to be attracted to men your own age. If you want children, the old guys won't want to have children with a young girl. This sounds like the two of you are having hot and heavy flirting, but once he has you, you will want more and he will back off. This is how that always works out.
But yes, of course he is attracted to you and wants sex. But he would be a horrible boyfriend because this is more about his ego than 2 people in love and want to be with each other.
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