A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay, I'm gonna try and make this as short as possible. My ex boyfriend and I were together for a yr and a half. I'm 25 and he's a few years younger than me. We rushed things in the beginning and moved in together immediately. He was absolutely crazy about me, but we started fighting all the time so a few months ago he moved out and got his own apartment which didn't go well with me at all, but after a while things started getting better. About two and half weeks ago I asked him if he was considering moving in together again when his lease was up beings he only stayed at his apartment once a week. Well his answer was he wasn't thinking about tht yet and tht I shouldn't be either. I kept my cool, but the next day we got into a spat and I just let everything out and broke up with him. Well the next day he came got all his stuff and I tried fixing things, but he said no tht he can't do it anymore and Tht this was for the best. Later tht week he came over to watch a movie and we ending up sleeping together, he then immediately said it was a mistake and Tht it would just make things harder. He said he loved me but Tht our relationship has had too much turmoil. After Tht we didn't speak for a week until he came to pay me for insurance, he seemed fine so I did my best to seem fine too but when he left I broke and txted him "I miss you" and he said "I'm sorry". Ouch! Well we continued to txt for awhile and I said I still wanted to be able to come to him for comfort and he said anything but a relationship. I told him I wasn't asking for Tht, and tht I thought this was best for both of us right now. Well the next night he asked if I wanted him to come over to watch a movie so I said sure. Once he got here ge went through my phone, emails, and Facebook. Well I work with a guy tht used to be one if his closest friends, as soon as me and my ex broke up he began making passes and asking me out, I've always turned him down and told my ex about it, which didn't sit well with him. Well my ex saw in my phone tht his friend was texting me telling me how good I look and stuff(none of which I responded to) well he told the guy tht he needed to have respect, to back off, Tht he's not over me, and how hard this is. After tht he was pretty flirty, eventually layin down cuddling on the couch with me and later we slept together. After tht he said he had to go, gave me a hug, and said see ya later. Ugh. The next night he came over again, this time not nearly as flirty or sweet, but we had sine drinks and watched movies and then he kept "messing with me" and eventually I gave in. Same thing as before I gotta go, hug, see ya later. Well yesterday we texted a little bit but he mostly gave me the cold shoulder. Today we texted and I told him how his friend asked me to go to dinner tonight, but I said no I have plans, and tht it would cause drama well my ex completely blew up on me telling me I need to be honest and not lead ppl on and tht I'm a b word and an idiot and all this absurd stuff. He even deleted me off Facebook, which is really childish but I told him I thought it was messed up and he said I was mad, and for me not to text him for a bit cause he just wanted to chill and I said fine point clear. He then said f you child. I just left it be after that. Sorry this was so long, but can someone please tell me what the heck is going on?? I'm so confused by his actions that it's driving me nuts.
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broke up, facebook, flirt, I work with, moved in, moved out, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011): This guy is walking all over you and you are letting him. He is jealous that someone else wants you - but doesn't really want you himself. The relationship is basically over but you are letting him use you as a sort of 'friend with benefits' and its almost as if you are clinging on to whatever bit of time with him you can have. Stop now. No more contact, do not see him. This is bad for your sense of self worth and self respect. Go out with this other guy - just have some fun, get your life back. He will carry on messing with your head till you say NO MORE.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011): I wish I could take your place for one day. I would invite your ex over for a movie and let him catch me on the couch cuddling with that other guy that's interested. For sure he will leave you alone after that. Don't waste anymore of your time on him. He's not worth it.
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A
female
reader, Cherrie_StPierre  +, writes (1 February 2011):
 You have to stop this. You just need to have no contact at all. This relationship is no good as a couple or as friends. This is going to happen over and over again. It's getting really hard for the both of you. Friends can't have casual sex, it just doesn't work. Let him go. Find someone to have a real life with. You both need that. Seriously, agree to no more movie nights, no more texting. No More Period! There is nothing here but drama! xoxoxoxox
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