A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello.. I need some help. Y'see.. I am absolutely obsessed with this guy. He's always on my mind, and I want him out, but I need some help forgetting about him.This guy in particular has been an obsession of mine for almost a few months. I never obsess over a guy for more than a few days, naturally, right? Well, I don't know why I like this guy so much! I think he's absolutely attractive, and all... But he's a jerk! He and I barely communicate! He ignores my text messages in the middle of a conversation, or he'll promise that we'd hang out, and blow me off. Or even if we were at the same place at the same time, he wouldn't even bother with me. Here's where the obsession started though... He lead me to believe that he actually liked me. He called me beautiful, cute, funny. He said he wanted to kiss and cuddle me. Now things are different. So, now I want him gone. I want to be friends with him... But how do I start?He's, literally, driving me crazy. And after his rejection I feel really bad about myself and I feel outcasted because he's all I talk about. But I want to be close friends with him, close enough that he can feel free to talk to me with no strings attached. And friends enough that if I wanted to flirt, I could, openly, and we'd still be cool with things.People have told me that the reason why he stopped giving me attention is because we live about an hour away, and maybe he feels I'm not worth the distance. Even if we had dated, it'd barely be long distance, because we see each other every now and again by "recreational hobbies" causes.Please help? Advice?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): Work on yourself and forget about him for nowIf it's meant to be it Will work out and if not it won'tBut you can't control it. Sounds like maybe you are using him as a distraction from your real life? If so what can you do to be more fufulled and focused. But dont let someones treatment if you define your self esteem!
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (8 November 2011):
Hi there. One hour is not a huge distance away, although it certainly is enough of a drive in one go, for sure.
For a start, DO NOT text him anymore. If anyone is to text, it has to be him - for now. This is to see if he will initiate contact with you.
What becomes of this friendship or whatever status it is, really depends on what you want from it in the first place. Whether you want to simply remain friends, or whether you would like it to be more of a boyfriend and girlfriend status, as I suspect you do. This is probably why you feel so obsessed with the whole thing.
There's a fair amount of uncertainty here, isn't there?
You can remain friends with him if you like - that is up to you. However, don't as I said before, initiate any contact with him from now on. Let him do that.
And if he does contact you, don't be too willing to jump into bed with him. Let him wait. Because you really don't want a friends with benefits relationship. That's just using you, and you don't want that. You deserve better.
And if he doesn't contact you and it's been 2 weeks or even a month or two and still nothing, well then it might be time to accept that he doesn't wish to pursue it any further with you. That is when it will be time for you to move on - once and for all.
The obsession you say you have about him, is most likely that you are hoping it will develop into more over time, and you might be imagining what it would be like to be his girlfriend. That's quite normal.
So where you are now in all this, is that you really DON'T know where you stand with him. Like if you have a chance with him, or not. That's really what you want to know, isn't it?
So say everything goes along well and he does make first contact with you, then will be your chance to shine and be yourself.
Whatever you do though, please, DO NOT mention about if you have a chance with him or not, don't say it or even hint at it either. Because, it could chase him away altogether!
Instead, just enjoy the present moment and have fun, laugh and be happy. Enjoy each other's company and get to know each other better. Then see how it goes from then on.
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A
female
reader, jessie93  +, writes (8 November 2011):
 Well I'm not being rude but He might be blowing you off and ignoring you because of the fact that you are obsessed with him so in order for y'all to even ever be able to be friends with each other you have to cut him off completely and act like you don't like him much less even know him . Guys like a chase and but you have to completely remove yourself from everything delete his number or change the name of it to something else . Delete him off of any social networking site you may have just let him think that you want nothing to do with him and if he really does like you who knows maybe he will chase you , not you chase him .
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A
female
reader, jessie93 +, writes (8 November 2011):
Well I'm not being rude but He might be blowing you off and ignoring you because of the fact that you are obsessed with him so in order for y'all to even ever be able to be friends with each other you have to cut him off completely and act like you don't like him much less even know him . Guys like a chase and but you have to completely remove yourself from everything delete his number or change the name of it to something else . Delete him off of any social networking site you may have just let him think that you want nothing to do with him and if he really does like you who knows maybe he will chase you , not you chase him .
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