A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:1.Ok, should I be upset because my ex does not see my son any more?2. A man (my ex) who had issues with a gay man who used to write love letters to him at work, used to hang out with some fruity guys at college, and whose mom also had a concern with a stay over with this gay guy who I was suspicious of. What do you think?3. My ex went out with me during our divorce even when he had a relationship with another woman. Why would he go out with me (his ex)?This is a man who walked out on me and my child when he was an infant, who kicked me out of the apartment, he used to sleep on the sofa, when I tried to lay next to him he would push me out of the sofa. He used to prefer to masturbate there instead of being with me. Since I didn't vacate the apartment, he packed his things and left. He would use the court, call the cops to escort court orders against me, he used the child for visitation (he doesn't even use), just to see me crying and begging in front of him and the judge. I used to get satisfaction of all the suffering he made me go through. I can't come to terms with this situation and I beat my self up every day because I never wanted this!!!! Sometimes, I remember when I was younger and I wish I could turn back but I can't. How can I step over and not grudge in this misery? Everyday I pray that he trully stay away from me and our son. All he did was cause us problems. My son came to a point where he didn't want to leave with him. What can I do? Without having to live in fear? because I do fear him. He does not hurt me physically but he does it through authorities, menacing to take the child, menacing on reporting me on any little thing, he would disappear then appear looking for rights. Is this the way to live? I want to put a stop on him but how?
View related questions:
at work, divorce, escort, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): You need to find forgiveness in your heart. If you are truly able to fogive him (for what he is) you will free youself of hurt. It does not mean you have to like him, have dealings with him, but see him for what he is and truly reach deep within to forgive him. FORGIVENESS OF ANOTHER is such a win/win because the beauty is it also releases our hurt.
The other thing I would suggest is to learn to FOGIVE YOURSELF ---- FOR YOUR own shortcomings this will release your guilt.
You are holding onto a lot of hurt; be gentle and kind with yourself. Love yourself and be gentle. You have in you the ability to heal all your hurt and help the anxiousness go away. Counseling would be great. Self-help books (you will be amazed at how much control you have over your well being; good luck my friend!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): ok first i am sorry to hear of your situation...
and this will not be a short trip you are in for a long haul.
I have to ask if you have full custody I am assuming yes since he gets visitation.. which you have to provide leagally.
2 start counseling (if you cant afford it go through the state-guarden of light--or medicade, state ins.) why? becasue dear this is mental abuse and one thing a state hates is a parent who abuses a child in this manner.. so get the counseling for you and your son.
Why are you doing this you ask? To start to build your case of emotional and mental abuse of you and a minor.
after you have started that place a order of protection for you and your son.
If not done petition the court for full custody,
petition to the court for a "guardan of light" this service is for the minor in question, tell them of the emotional abuse and you wish for the child to be placed in counseling.
also does this man pay child support? if not nail him,, he is treating you this way because you let him, stand up and hit him back with the very ammo he threatens you with.
petition the court for owed child support--did you know you can have his drivers licence revoked? Did you know that right now he is harrassing you and you should file charges on him?
You do not have to live in such a mannor... no one should and nor should your son... if you can't fight for you, fight for him.
i eagerly await to hear from you and hope all goes well...
fyi---there are also free leagal counsel in most states check it out through your local court system.. if in the eastern part of the us... i know that Blue Ridge Leagal system is free to alot of cases such as yours so please check it out.
...............................
|
