A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend loved me very much at the beginning of our relationship. He used to buy me flowers, was very supportive, listened a lot, and tried very hard to make me happy. Over the years, his love slowly dwindled, to the piont where he fell in love with someone else, and our relationship became abusive on both ends. Can someone explain how such deep love can turn into such hatred? He hates me now, very much so.
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (3 August 2012):
 They always say that love and hate are very close together on the emotional spectrum. They are among the strongest emotions that a person will ever experience.
I suspect what is going on though is something like this:
Imagine that I offered you your heart's desire. Be it money, a house, a new car, etc. Let's just say I promised you a $1 million dollar bill if you hung out with me for a week.
Well, you'd be excited about the prospect of getting all this money, after all it is something you've always wanted. Supposed though on day 6, I said "Listen, this $1 million dollar bill, it's Monopoly money. It is still yours, but it's not truly the million dollar bill you envisioned".
My bet is you'd be pretty upset with me despite what your feelings for me would've been on day 1 or 2. After all I had offered you a million dollars and on day 1 things looked pretty rosy.
This is similar to what you are going through. At one point, you thought you had found the perfect mate -- your soul mate, the person you had always hoped you wanted -- the man who had offered you the million dollar dream. But he turned into a mirage, something that they weren't -- all he had to offer was Monopoly money. He is probably resentful for letting his guard down and being hurt and misled and his hatred for you also stems from the fact that he wants to prove to himself and to you that he doesn't need you.
Eventually these passions will die down. Give it some more time and allow for some separation to occur. Eventually you and he will both move on.
I encourage you to take the attitude of "live and let live" and find someone who is the real deal and will treat you with the respect and desire you deserve.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (3 August 2012):
 It's hard to know or explain. Sometimes, relationships do not work out. Temptations from others can ruin a partnership, and that may result in regret. But a person must do their best to go on.
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