A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been really good friends with a guy in my class for almost a year now. Up until recently, we told each other everything -- our deepest secrets, what we were going through at home -- everything -- and the other always listened and offered advice. I've always had issues with my parents being too overbearing, so we often talk about that. Recently, though, the problem got worse...I got really depressed even thought about running away...through all that, my friend was there to talk me out of doing something I would regret --he even ran over to my house during school when I stayed home to convince me to tough it out. The same week, though, his parents almost tried to pull him out of school. Part of the reason was that the teachers felt like he'd been a bad influence on me. Luckily, he was allowed to stay...but he said he needed me to stop telling him so much because he had to focus on school. He said my problems (which he'd been helping me with by himself every day and night for two weeks) were taking too much of a toll and he didn't feel responsible enough to manage everything. He said we could talk again once he had his life under control.I knew he still cared, though, because he sent me random messages to help me through what I was suffering with my parents, even though he never asked questions directly. Then, over the holidays, my dad contacted him through my facebook account. I dont know exactly what was said, but I know my dad dislikes this friend, so it was probably very insulting. My friend sent two emails back defending me and him, warned me what my dad was doing, but said he couldn't get involved again just yet. So, he blocked me so my dad and I couldn't contact him again. I didn't speak to him for two weeks after that. Then, when I felt like I had things under control, I tried to fix things by creating a facebook account to impersonate a close friend of mine, saying he was going to ask me out and letting my other friend know I was okay. I had told him weeks ago that I liked him, so I thought if he thought I was with someone else, it would help things....but he wrote back saying I was pathetic. I wasnt sure if he was joking, or angry, so I tried to call him. He wouldn't pick up though, so I called several times and when he finally picked up, he cursed at me and told me to stop calling. I was so scared I hung up without saying anything else. I sent a long text explaining why I had done what I'd done and asking him to forgive me...Can anyone tell me if and why he's so mad? Do you think our friendship can be salvaged? What should I do/say to repair this? He really has been a wonderful friend to me and I don't know what I would do if I lost him...
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female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (27 February 2011):
 Don't you see what happened. Every part of your relationship has been all about you and your drama, and he tried his best to help you with all of it for as long as he could. So much so that it started to take a toll on him with school and his grades and his parents.
So he told you he was sorry but he needed to take a break from you for a little while. So that he could have the time he needed to just concetrate on himself for a change.
But he still kept in touch with you to let you he was still your friend and still cared.
So while he is doing his best to get back on track and mind his own business along comes more drama from your dad on FB
so he takes care of that by blocking your dad (and you).
And things quiet down again until you do what? Oh that's right you create a false account and make stuff up about having a new boyfriend to take care of you and so on...so once again it become all about YOU!
Good intentions or not, you consistently denied the boy the one thing he respectfully asked you for... A little drama free break.
Of course he never blammed you for all the stress he was under due to your family problems and things your dad said on to him on FB without your knowledge or permission.
None of that was your fault. But when you stooped to making false accounts and statments on FB it must have looked to him like you just couldn't stand for him to have any care and attention at all even when he really needed it.
After all it wasn't a random accident. It was a deliberate act of deception on your part. And unfortunately for you it was also the straw that broke the camels back as far as your friendship with that boy is concerned. Only time will tell if you'll ever get it back. Just wait and hope that one day he forgives you.
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