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female
,
anonymous
writes: Help!! I need some direction here. I was with my boyfriend for ten years and we broke up about eight months ago. It was tough at the beginning but it is getting better now. He is in a relationship and he lives with this girl. He has taken to calling me at the end of the week, from work, to avoid detection and he generally sounds a little drunk which sounds really safe as he works in construction. I am assuming that he does this because his primary relationship is not going well at this point. When I return his call on Monday he is distant and says that he and the other girl are working it out. He blows hot and cold and has even asked me to come down for a visit. I would like his friendship but am in the mind right now to tell him to stuff it. Is this a bit harsh or might there be a way to maintain some resemblence of friendship?
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female
reader, trita4 +, writes (1 August 2006):
i have been there dear. he is using you. why am i saying this, because when you call him on monday, he tells you a different story. i suggest you do not pick up his calls when he calls at night. that will show him that you are indepent and can be without him and perhaps you are engaged. to keep such friendship is abit tricky if he calls you at that time. give him an arm's length distance. avoid his calls during the day and do not encourage him to call you. or else next he will be calling you for a cozy evening yet the next day he is for someone else which will leave you feeling used. good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2006): hi dear i have been there in such a situation. what happens is that most men do not want to let go their ex girlfriends for other men. they want us women to be tied down to them so they can get us and satisfy them any time. he is doing exactly that and the best way is to make it clear to him that you can do with out him in a polite way. when he calls at night, do not pick it and do no reurn his calls on Monday. if he calls during the day, pick up and sound polite but dont give him space for a late appointment. do it politely so u can maintain the friendship. the more distance you give him, the clearer it will get to him that you can live with out him. dont show him any knid of desperate need to get back to him when he calls. good luck
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