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female
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anonymous
writes: Ah, who should I date?I am 18 years old and very very good friends with a 25 year old guy. In fact, we've been friends since I was 15. Nothing inappropriate ever happened because of our (illegal!) age difference, but I've had feelings for him ever since I met him. Now that I'm 18, he has admitted he has feelings for me too and wants to date.We have nearly everything in common. I don't even notice the 7 year gap, to be honest. He's everything I could ever possibly want and then some. We like a lot of the same things, have great conversations and generally I feel happiest when I'm with him.BUT...my friends and family disapprove of his age. They're trying to set me up with a guy who is 18, my age. This guy and I have nothing in common except one t.v. show we both like. To be frank I find him a bit immature, annoying, and very clingy. When I'm with HIM, I feel like putting a pistol in my mouth.I'm an adult now and think I should be allowed to date whoever I want. And if it weren't for the extreme disapproval of my family and friends, I'd already be dating the 25 year old that I care about so much.What would you do?
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (2 August 2006):
 I think you should follow your heart. If it's the 25 year old guy that you want to be with, no one has the right to tell you you can't do that. You're 18 years old now, and a big girl so you can make your own decisions. Many girls find lads their own age or younger annoying because men tend to mature a lot slower than women, so we often go for someone older.
I am 19 and my partner is 28. I left someone my own age (18 at the time) to be with him because he was better for me and I enjoyed being with him so much more, he opened my eyes to the world and we are still very happy. I never notice the age gap, he supports me in my studies and isn't rushing kids or marriage or anything and I support him in his job too.
Your friends and family only want the best for you so you need to respect that but you also deserve to be happy. Start seeing the guy you want to see and, when it gets a bit more serious, take him to meet your friends and family so they can see how nice he is and how happy you are. They have no right to tell you you can't see him, you're 18. They'll get over it. My mum and dad were a bit uncomfortable at first but now they love my boyfriend because he makes me happy and that's all that matters to them.
Good luck and keep in touch if you like.
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