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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am 16 and my boyfriend is 19 and we have been dating for 3 years ... and i want to move in with him when i am 17..what do i do if my dad says he will put him in jail for me not being a virgin?can he do that if we have been together for 3 years?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2005): No he can not. i dont care wut nobody says cause i talked to the police about this cuz when i was 15 my boyfriend was 20 and i was pregnant with his kid and they said they can not do anything about it because i am over the age of 14 which is the legal age to have sex now im 16 and hes 21 and im pregnant with his kid again so dont worry there hunnie your dad cant do anything especially now because ur 16 and thats legal age to move out so he cant do a damn thing
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (29 November 2005):
 That depends on where you live and your local laws. In some places, you're not considered at the "age of majority" (ie: an adult) until you're 18. That means you can't have sex with someone over 18 (yes, even if you've been together for 3 years). In other areas, you can legally have sex with someone at the age of 16. So depending on your location, your dad could press charges against your older boyfriend, now that he's over 18.
The real point of your dad's threat (and that's what it is; unless he actually sees you two in a sexual embrace, or you come home pregnant he can only guess that you're having sex with your boyfriend - which is probably what he's worried about) is that he's concerned about some aspect of your relationship and doesn't share your affection for your boyfriend.
The best way out of this problem is to tackle that issue.
Why doesn't your dad like your boyfriend? Have they met? Have they talked? Does your boyfriend treat you with disrespect, or treat you like a possession? Have you had a boyfriend before, or is this guy your first? Is it possible that you're automatically defending your boyfriend's actions without giving it much thought?
Consider the fact that your dad is an adult, with a good 20 or more years of life experience under his belt. He's also a man - and though it can feel weird to think about it - he knows EXACTLY what sexual thoughts a 19-year-old has about young girls, because he's been there. Your dad may be worried that your boyfriend just sees you as a sex partner, and that you might end up heartbroken (or pregnant and dumped) if your boyfriend isn't a good man.
Your dad only wants you to be happy and to protect you from harm, so if your boyfriend is really as good a person as you want to believe, then do what you can to give them some common ground. Let your boyfriend and dad interact, share some time together, have a drink and chat... whatever. Your dad obviously sees something in your boyfriend's behaviour that he doesn't like. Maybe you should talk to him in a calm, rational voice and raise the topic, so you can ask your dad how to get around that problem.
The do some deep thinking of your own. If you've been dating your boyfriend since you were - egad! - thirteen then you haven't seen much of other guys, have you? You won't know who else is out there. Maybe you need to slow things down with your guy, after all, what's the rush to move in with him? What's the worst that can happen if you don't?
Ask any friends you have who are over the age of about 21 how much they changed between 16 and 20. Don't take it from me, but they'll confirm that you become a completely different person as you grow into your 20s. Moving in with your boyfriend at 17 will almost guaranteed be a mistake, because of the changes in your interests that you're about to experience.
Listen to your dad with one ear and your heart with the other. Don't rush things. Trust that your dad helped to raise you to this age so he must know SOMETHING about the world, right?
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