A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was sleeping with this guy I'm seeing and we had both been drinking the night before. The next morning, we laid in bed for hours just cuddling and snuggling next to each other. At one point, he started getting really touchy feely and started to initiate sex. About two minutes into it he stops and says "I'm sorry, I'm just not feeling well right now" and then "are you pissed? i didnt do a very good job..." After about another half hour he initiates sex again and we were going at it for about 2 or 3 minutes and he started going soft! He said that if I jerked it off it would get hard again so I did but he wasn't able to get it back up. Why did this happen? Was it the alcohol? Was he not turned on by me (this is the first time its happened, he's never had this problem with me)? And most importantly, if he was turned on, is it possible for men to be turned on but not get an erection??
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2009): First, it had nothing to do with him not being turned on by you. If he was willing to cuddle, hold you and even try a second time, then at least he cares and respects you.The combination of alcohol and his brain is probably what killed his erection. If a man spends time with you, and is willing to leave you for the day without getting sex and is back the next day, then it is neither for sex is all he is looking for and that he really likes you.Women don't realize it, but when you start thinking negative things because he wasn't able to perform, your reaction to it will ultimately destroy the relationship. Because one thing leads to another and it goes down the toilet very quickly. Don't assume, and don't expect a man to be able to just spit out the problem, either he is disappointed in himself that he let you down, or if not sex, his mind may have detoured to other important things, such as getting a pay check or avoiding a fine and paying on time.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009): thanks halo, and oops my first comment was meant for r2d2....
anyone else have any more input on this??
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A
male
reader, Halo73  +, writes (21 July 2009):
 It sounds like it could have been the alcohol - I never have erectile problems but I am sometimes unable to sustain an erection when I'm drunk or if I'm feeling hungover. My previous partner once got really offended when this happened and she also started worrying that it was something to do with her.
The fact that he was the one getting 'touchy feely' and initiating sex shows that mentally he must have been turned on it was just the physical side of things that was letting him down.
If it's any help, from personal experience, I bet he feels much worse about it than you do.
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A
male
reader, R2-D2 ATE MY HOMEWORK +, writes (21 July 2009):
no its whenever men cum the hormones go with it so after he came it went soft
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