A
male
age
36-40,
*ox-Sean
writes:I’ve been heart broken since the 20th of June 09, my ex and I broke up after I had a emotional break down and said a lot of nasty things about her and her family after we had been together for a year and 15 days. There a lot of things about me that has hurt me though my life, but to give the background story would be very long. Brief summery, is that she was leaving off to the Army and I knew I was going to miss her and I was afraid some smooth talking guy was going to snatch her away. I snapped and said a lot of stupid stuff that pushed her away. She dumped me and I thought it was for the best, then I realized that I didn’t want to lose her so I kept on trying to get her to give me a second chance; I bagged to her on my knees even in front of her and her mom, but she just stuck her nose up. More in rage and hurt I continued to say more nasty things; I pushed very hard to try to talk to me try to understand why I said those things, but she wouldn’t. I tried to commit suicide for the sixth time, but I held in hoping that she would come back and talk to me. She came back in November, but never told me that she was back from training, before I had a chance to do anything, she left again. Looking back at it, I was falling down hill when she left for basic, I tried to hold in on work, but I had sudden crying out burst ever two hours at work, I had no motivations in college and my grades we down hill. I tried to hook up with other girls; first one was being a single mother a year younger then me, and all I could thing of is how great of a mother my ex would be. A second girl I went on a date with and we got a bit sexually enrolled, I found myself pulling back before going to far; it just didn’t seem right. I didn’t want other girl, but my ex. So I researched tips on how to get my ex back, and I noticed I did all the wrong things and I knew it would be really hard, but I had to try. I had sent her single messages such as Marry Christmas and other Holiday greetings hoping that she would finally talk to me. Then the 2nd of April I sent her a happy birthday on her face book and then I seen it; she was pregnant. She had only been with this guy since the 26th of Jan. She had an ultrasound done on her birthday, so I estimated she had been pregnant for 8 weeks. She had told me when we were together that she wanted to not have sex until she was married. The guy asked her to marry him and she said yes; regardless of this situation, I hope that the marriage is a failure, which this guys in no good for her, since he’s 23 and got an 18 year old girl pregnant. The majority of my self says, this relationship is going to workout. The main thing that I can’t stand his I see a similarity of the guy she is with now and my self in facial features and the last guy she was with.So my questions are1.) Is there a chance that the marriage will not work out since she is only 19 and the guy is 23 and both of them are enlisted in the Army?2.) Looking at two pictures of different guys she has been with since our break up, both men share similar facial features, which has been noticed by my friends. Is it possible that she still has strong feelings for me and is trying making this guy into me, without the sudden emotional break downs?3.) Is there a chance that I can win her heart back if the marriage falls through? (I would have no problem taking on the role of being a father for someone else’s kid.)4.) Or should I just forget her and continue on with the plans her and I had made together? I have a deep feeling that I won’t be able to remain interested in another relationship.
View related questions:
at work, broke up, christmas, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (6 April 2010):
 I think that you should allow her to be happy and work on being a good man for yourself. In your question you posted that you have tried to commit suicide six times...that is about as far from healthy as you can get. Therapy may also help you from having emotional breakdowns like the one that caused your breakup.
I think what happened is a sign that you need to work on your emotional responses before it costs you anyone else. Find out how to harness your emotional energy instead of taking it out on someone you love. This will help you later in life to be a good husband and father, if that is the path you choose.
Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010): 1.) Yes, albeit incredibly small
2.) Yes, albeit incredibly unlikely
3.) Yes, albeit incredibly small
(sane people would write an extended "no" to #1-3, mind you)
4.) Forgeting her isn't a bad idea.
I'm recovering from depression myself. I tortured myself all day long every day, seriously wanting to kill myself. The biggest thing that's helping me is to simply ENJOY being alive. We mistakenly tell ourselves that we don't need to do anything for ourselves, that we only need to work. Really, if we're miserable, we can't work, no matter how much we try. So go do something ONLY for yourself. Go shopping, especially if you never go shopping, even if you just spend five dollars lol. buy something with NO OTHER PURPOSE than to make yourself feel good. Smell the air, and enjoy it. make a funny face at someone you pass, and enjoy it. Whatever you personally enjoy at the moment.
(err...i don't recommend gambling or spending life savings though...and don't commit any crimes etc.)
Is it remotely possible that you could enjoy doing anything? even a little? honestly now?
I really hope you kinda of think it might be possible, because otherwise I am inept, and you might need antidepressants...
So life can go like this:
1.) You start enjoying life, little by little
2.) Your motivation gets replenished by the happy feeling
3.) You are enabled to create positive relationships and help people
4.)you get friends, and eventually, a girlfriend.
You've been going backwards. Women don't make you happy. You express happiness through them.
...............................
|
