A
female
age
41-50,
*nowey55
writes:Hi,I am in LDR with my boyfriend and we see each other at weekends but the last few months Ive been actly extremely clingy, texting him everyday, questioning him about emotions, cheating, other women I hate what Ive become!Other areas in my life Im unhappy with which Im changing and Ive made a promise to myself to change and make myself happier and to back off and give him space to breath as his definitely being more distant with me and I fear growing tiresome.But have I already cause too much damage as such? His noticed I need constant reassurance and his been so nice to me and patient but if I keep to my promises can I win him back emotionally? Or once a mans minds made up about what kind of person I am is it now too late? His still making future plans with me so he must like me we havent said I love you yet after 6 months of being together,I like him so much but cant shake the feeling Ive ruined things by being insurcure. What can I do to make things right again?Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (29 July 2012):
Sit him down and tell him all of this. Explain that you’ve been unhappy with things in your life and it made you very emotional and in need of constant reassurance. Explain that you are in a better place now, and that you understand the impact that your clingy behaviour must have had on him, and that you’re worried you were too intense. Explain how much he means to you and don’t be afraid to use the L word if that’s how you feel about him. Ask him if he feels he needs space and tell him that you’re trying your best to get the balance right, but also give him some positive feedback: if the support he’s given you has helped you, let him know. If he’s still making plans for the future with you it really doesn’t sound like you’ve ruined things at all. You just need to let him in on your worries so that you can discuss it and make sure you’re on the same page in this relationship, it’s all part of good communication! It’s far better to tell your partner if you are worried about something and have him assure you that you’ve nothing to worry about, than to let anxieties fester and grow until you end up overly dependent on constant reassurance again.
I wish you all the very best.
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