A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, wondered if anyone could shed any light on my boyfreind of eight years actions??? we recently spent 8 weeks apart and got back together (we have done this a few times over the years) .... Only I have this nagging doubt, he has a biz and recently I saw a message where by he had obviously called me paranoid to a new contact (I thought that was flirtatious) I pretended I didnt see it but jokingly said hoped new biz people werent too good looking and that he never jokingly called me things i.e paranoid to people - well he errupted saying 'someones been talking' to which I said 'oh so u did say that' to which he went mad saying I should trust in him.... I know he did say it though obviously. Also his ex with whom he has a child recently split with her boyfreind and he rang him to ask advice - I was there during conversation and he said they only speak because of child ...I asked after if he had contacted her to advise of call but he said not his biz....I later found he had rang and text her for the next few days after the call (we were away) ....can I trust this man when he is not honest? why does he completely over react even when I say things joking??? is it because he is lying??? heeellllp... also we have been together 8 years he proposed early on, but I am refusing to wear ring as I do not believe it was meant for a real engagement - when I told him this he said ' we will marry one day' well when??? is 8 years not long enough to decide??? any help gratefully recieved x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Hennessy1989  +, writes (8 August 2012):
 There is nothing more annoying than being with someone who doesn't trust you, he erupts because for 8 years he's probably been putting up with this. You said you say these things just joking? Well it's not joking is it, it's you letting him no in a sarcastic way that you have been snooping on him, trying to control him, no wonder you have these 8 week breaks, the man lies because he can't trust you to behave like an adult of he tells you the truth, cut him don't slack after 8 years, a relationship without trust is more of a prison sentence
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