A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfirend and I have been together for 7 years. We have a little girl who is 4. I moved to the UK 3 years ago to go to university and we have had arguments about me being here. I visit as much as I can, and he has cheated on me a few times while being here. Well after this visit in May he told me he cheated on me and moved in with the girl. A few months later come to find out the girl is having a baby, he told the girl he didnt want the baby and she still decided to keep the baby. Keeping in mind she has three other kids. His mom even tried to convince her to get an abortion but she wouldnt. His mom wants us to stay together and tells me it can work. He says he still wants to be with me but when I think about him having another baby and having to communicate with this other girl it really gets on my nerves just thinking about it. The baby is not due until November but he said he wants me there with him. I have decided to move back to Florida to see if things can work out but I'm in two minds. I know he is going to take care of his child no matter what but can I trust him not to go back to this girl?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008): So, he has moved in with another girl, got her pregnant and cheated on you mor than three times. Sure he has trusted you enough to tell you, but are you not hurt by the fact that this has happened? how can you love some one who has clerly abused your trust? I completly agree with uncle Phil. More than him, you have your daughter to worry about. She needs a mother who will be able to support her and give her the best education possible. and that will not happen if you do not concentrate on your srudies because your 7 year boyfriend wants you back, even though he moved in with anothr girl. At leats, i do not find that normal in any plane. you can get much better guys, and i understand that he has been your partener for almost a decade, but regardless that you do not need al that emotional fustration. you dont deserve it just as he does not deserve you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008): Let me get this straight - he's moved in with the other woman and you're asking if he can be trusted not to go back with her? He's already there, surely?
I think if I were you I'd concentrate on the university education which will stand you (and your daughter) in good stead for the future, whether or not it's with this guy is yet to be seen, but he doesn't sound much of a catch to me! What does it say about his stupidity that he could go and get another girl pregnant?
You certainly don't need all this aggravation while you're trying to study. Your mind won't be concentrating on the tasks in hand. Whether you go back to Florida is a decision only you can make, but I'd advise you to put this guy on the back burner - or preferably in the trash can - until you've finished university and see how you feel about all this in the fullness of time.
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