A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay - i am preganant and living with my folks. Most of my family still believe me to be a virgin, they have no idea that i had a boyfriend for a few months a little while ago. This is gonna be hard because they will not exspect it at all - if i was seeing someone and they knew i was seeing someone then it wouldn't be too bad but the fact that i chose to leave them in the dark may hurt and shock them. I had my reasons. How do i tell them i am preganant without going into the history of my relationship and sexual behaviour etc. Do i just say i am preganant, don't ask questions, just deal with it - thats partly what i want to say which is pretty selfish i think. But its my body, my baby, my relationship that failed, my choice - do i have to tell them anything other than the fact that i am preganant? The baby daddy will be in the picture eventually (in a non-romantic sense) however for the time being he can't be around because he has commitments of his own right now. What would you do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009): I would never be with a married man - that goes against my own personal code of honour - that type of behaviour i would never knowingly take part in therefore i shall say it loud and clear, ex was not married nor in any type of commited relationship! Baby daddy is actually out of the country for the next 18 months thus he has commitments that means he will not be around for the time being - he will be in the baby's life and will get to meet my parents eventually, once the shock of me being with child has lessened - the folks can be pretty scarey when they want to be and i think he's happy to be a few thousand miles away lol.We did use protection, the baby wasn't planned or wanted at all - not that it is unwanted now that its here. My family don't know about my ex because every other relationship i've ever started - the subject of marriage was talked of practically from the first date. lol With ex, because my parents didn't know it gave me a chance to explore and experiment without parents watching my every move and having great exspectations. It was nice having a secret and such freedom. Its not that i won't tell them who the baby daddy is - its just the fact i don't want to right now. I still feel like its my secret - the relationship, love, sex etc. My parents love me a lot and i don't think they will mind that i am pregnant or wanting to keep baby daddy information confidential for now. I just sort of want to be accepted by my parents as is - without them being disappointed that i didn't meet their exspectations or without having to give too much details of the whos, when's where's and why's. It was my choice and i stand by it but just don't feel like i have to explain it - its done and now dealing with the consequences but i can't do that later bit alone. Thanks you CaringGuy - i appreciate your words, simple and to the point "pregnant and its complicated and rather not talk about it" - got it :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): Unless you are the virgin Mary or made a withdrawal from the local sperm bank.....
Your family is going to figure it out you had sex with someone. So, why were you having an affair with a married man and not using protection ???
You do realize your parents had sex at least once, right ??
Part of having sex is dealing with the consequences and being adult about the situation. If you want them to be adult about it and help you, you're going to have to be adult about it and treat your parents like adults.
"I'm pregnant and it's none of your business" ain't going to fly when you are living in their house....
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (30 December 2009):
 Stop being a little girl asking the entire world to please play by her rules.
If you make choices in this live, you got to accept that their may be consequences, not matter how much your dislike them. It is called being an adult.
Tell your family and face whatever comes, you might not want to tell who the father is, but be prepared for the backlash.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 December 2009):
Just do what you feel is right. All you have to say is you're pregnant, and that it's complicated and you'd rather not talk about it. It will come as a shock to them I'm sure, but you must focus on yourself and your baby right now. You and the baby count, not anyone else. Good luck.
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