A
female
age
41-50,
*ostintranslation05
writes:I'm lost at this time! My husband cheated with the mother of his 1st child. And this other woman got pregnant I come to find out two months before our church wedding that "WE" have been planning for a year. This Aug would of been our two year anni. and celebrating the union under gods house. Of course I cancelled the wedding and moved out and we are separated at this time. He states that it was a mistake and he wants nothing to do with this woman but I just cant deal with him having another child by her it will just remind me all the time of the affair!. I would like to know if there is anything I can do to sue this person! for ruining my life and my 5 yr old son. She was fully aware of our marriage but never left my husband go compeletly after their relationship. I guess this is a way I feel I can get back at her. I dont know its been really hard to deal with this as I still love my husband and my son is soo attached to his daddy! So much I have to think off.Does anyone have a similar problem?
View related questions:
affair, moved out, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): She's a clerk at the Post Office; chances are she's already suffering!
A
female
reader, lostintranslation05 +, writes (22 July 2010):
lostintranslation05 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your wise words! I def cant deal with this child comming over the weekends or the holidays! At this time my husband is waiting for the DNA test results but deep down in my heart I know that our relationship is over! and no matter what he will be in my life because of our son, but he will only be daddy to him not my husband anymore! I just want to make a fool of this woman that work at the U.S.P.S in Rancho Cucamonga, CA as a Clerk. Homewrecker that she is!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): States that as of 2003 appear to still allow an "Alienation of Affection" suit:
Hawaii
Illinois
Mississippi
New Hampshire
New Mexico
North Carolina
South Dakota
Utah
Hope you live in one of these states, and even then the court could deny the suit and declare the law unconstitutional. Many states have... these have not...
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): There are a few states in the US where you can legally sue a person that has an affair with your spouse. The action is called "Alienation of affections" and is allowed in North Carolina and Mississippi (maybe a few other states). Last year (2009) there was a high profile case where a congressman's wife sued his mistress (a very wealthy heir to the 'Cellular South' estate. The case is still in court, hopefully the ex-wife will win a significant amount.
...............................
A
female
reader, torn_apart  +, writes (22 July 2010):
Honestly, I'm very concerned that so many people are encouraging you to investigate with a lawyer. This kind of behaviour is what is wrong with the world today. I understand you have been through an ordeal, a terrible one, but that doesn't mean someone has to "pay" for it.
firstly, it is your husbands fault for the cheating as he is the only one who had the commitment to you, not her. I don't understand why people get so mad at the other party, yes it's a dog act and I don't condone it, but bottom line is your husband is the one who owes you loyalty, not her.
If you want to sue someone, sue your husband. If people begin suing others for this kind of thing though I think society is in a lot of trouble.
My advice, move on and accept that things happen - either with your husband or without. If you do sue her, what would you want the outcome to be - are you looking for compensation? For what? Emotional distress? This is a pretty immature response and not setting a good example for your 5yo son, 'if someone hurts you, you sue them and get revenge!' not such a good life lesson there. What kind of role model do you want to be?
...............................
A
female
reader, Lovebug21 +, writes (22 July 2010):
In some states you can. Its called "alienation of affection". You should speak to a lawyer and ask him/her about it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (22 July 2010):
 First of all, you will need to consult an attorney to answer these questions and a consultation fee is not that expensive so I encourage you to do so. Secondly, even if your b/f wants nothing to do with this woman, his ex can get a court order that forces him to help pay for this child and both the child and the ex will be a permanent fixture in your relationship. No two ways about it. I suggest you change your phone number, pursue the possibility of a suit. Even if you don't win, it'll be worth it to create some unrest in their lvies after what they did behind your back. You deserve so much more!!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): Why don't you sue your husband? After all, HE'S the one that cheated on you and ruined your life. Redirect your anger toward the proper party.Since your husband already has a child with this woman, there's no way he can cut her out of his life. She will always be in your marriage, even if only from the sidelines, and the child your husband conceived from his affair with her will no doubt be spending weekends and holidays in your home. Are you up to dealing with this reality? I don't know you, but I think you deserve more than this. There is no way a man who would cheat on you is what God intended for you. Be thankful that the marriage didn't go through because you probably dodged a bullet. Remember, he can be parent to your son without being in a relationship with you. As much as you love him, there is a greater love out there for you. You won't get it, though, if you keep holding on to a man that clearly has no respect for you or the sanctity of marriage.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 July 2010):
There are some states where you can sue the other person. You'd need to find out whether that is your state. You'd need to ask local government offices.
As for your husband, he can't just cut this other woman and that child of his life. One day the child will arrive to ask questions, and you need to be prepared for that. And his ruthlessness is a good indicator that you shouldn't be with him anyway.
So, to sum up, don't go back to him and make sure you speak to a government official who knows the law in your state. There were two cases recently in the US where two women were sued for being homewreckers. So it can happen.
...............................
|
