A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I am engaged to be married next year and I love my husband to be dearly and I am pregnant with his child. When we were together about three years I got really obsessed about his past, quizzing him on his past affairs and generally giving him the third degree about exes and old flames. Before he met me he fooled around with a girl and had oral, but claims they did not have sex. I quizzed him over this incident incessantly. I must have been so annoying! He got really annoyed with this, naturally, but over time I stopped. Only now I am finding I am obsessing over it again. I dont get why. I havent brought it up to him again, but secretly I am still obsessing over it. I have no idea why I am so fixated with this. It was before we met, and it is hypocrytical of me too, because I have slept with 4 other people and my fiance has never brought that up. Is there any way I can train my brain to see that it doesnt matter to him anymore, so therefore shouldnt matter to me? We have both kissed other people and been able to forgive each other and move on quite easily, so I dont get how I can let something that happened while we were actually together go so easily, but yet I just cant get past something that happened before he even met me. I dont know why its so important to me.
View related questions:
affair, engaged, fiance, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (12 November 2015):
 You say: "I have no idea why I am so fixated with this." Well, only you know. Sometimes it's better not to ask. I suppose you realise that now.
If oral is something not currently in your sexual repertoire could you consider introducing it? It might make you feel on a par with his past sexual encounter.
You have to believe that what you give your fiancée is the best. Sexual esteem and prowess is all in the head. If you think sexy then you can be.
Don't bother thinking about his ex; she won't be thinking about you.
|
