A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was looking through my GF text messages one night because I felt something was different lately with her. So I found a text from a guy that she worked with. The text started out as I hear you are leaving the company for a new job and continued with small talk. Then he asked her "when do I get to see you again" and "I miss ya". My GF replied "hopefully one day". Then she replied saying "I miss u". He then replied to her asking her to come to the the company meeting which was an out of town over night. she replied that she would try to make it but never went. So I confronted her and became very angry. She told me I was taking this out context and their was nothing going on. She said it looked bad but it was not what I thought. My problem is I have been cheated on before and am very guarded. My GF and I have been together for 4 years and are planning to get married. Should I believe her and trust her?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 January 2018):
 Honestly this is a tough one, because I have been in your girlfriends position. I worked with a colleague who got another job last year and yes I do tell him I miss working with him. We did get close and the truth is I do miss him working in our team. But we are both married and it is purely platonic. So you know it can just be friendly chat as well. I have said to him I miss him, I have said to him he should pop up to visit some time. We grew close when working at the same place. It does happen when you work with someone. Just because it was the opposite sex does not mean it is going to be a sexual relationship. A woman and a man can get close as well.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (6 January 2018):
 Her answers sound non committal to me so I'm guessing she felt on the spot and resorted to 'being polite'.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (5 January 2018):
I don't think the texts prove she was cheating but they were definitely inappropriate. Texts like that are always the first step towards cheating.
If I was you I'd insist that she tells you the truth, and use your best judgement as to whether she's telling the truth. It's likely she just had an office crush, which is hurtful but relatively common.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2018): People will deny the evidence because the want to avoid any consequences. Come on, how can what they said to each other be taken out of context? They miss each other, and he invited her to see him out of town.
Give her the opportunity to explain in more detail for a much better understanding of their conversation. Why did it seem so personal and intimate? Why hasn't she spoken of him to you? It seems she may have gotten cold-feet; but there may be something going on.
The conversation was much too personal for co-workers. The entire discussion could have been made at work, if it was work-related. A lady in a committed-relationship shouldn't set herself up for suspicion by exchanging text messages about meeting-up with another guy. For any reason! Work-related, or otherwise.
The problem is, she has been behaving differently; which shakes her credibility. Why are you suspicious?
As for marriage? Until you've gotten this matter totally resolved, withhold your proposal. Something's not right.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2018): Look emotional affairs, mutual admirations, accord and empathy between work collegues of the oposite sexes have gone on in the offices way way before the invention of the internet and the smart telephones. The stress and pressure of work environments provide the ideal atmosphere for such relationships to develope even among the happily married collegues, that doesn't mean that every such relationship turns to a fully blown sexual affair. Eventually your GF's good sense have prevailed and her text message were in my opinion just a nice way of turning down his offer. so my advice is let the incident rest and trust your GF when when she says there was nothing serious to it and please don't pry on your GF's telephones or you will end up losing them everytime.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2018): I was not concerned so much about the meeting but more as to what happened that they both were comfortable texting miss you and when do I get to see you again. I have been sick about this and I feel something had happened between the two of them. She told me to please let it go that yes it looked bad But I was reading into this to much. She also told me today that she was trying to keep a good working relationship because of his power and connections with other companies.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (5 January 2018):
 It seems fishy to me. Perhaps nothing happened but it looks like it was nearly on the cards.
You don't say, 'I miss u', to a colleague. And the invitation to a overnight meeting... It isn't his job to invite staff to meetings is it? She would have been on a list and have been invited by company memo surely.
These two were closer than you might expect from work mates. However I think she turned him down in favour of you. I think you should ask for some more honesty when you are calm and not angry. Get a complete and convincing explanation from her.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 January 2018):
 So what was her REAL reason for talking about meeting up overnight, when she no longer works for the company? What is the REAL context here?
Could she just have been polite instead of saying no I don't think my partner would like that?
One thing is the I'll miss you. That CAN be pretty harmless as some coworkers get on well and enjoy working with each other. That doesn't necessarily mean more than just that. But him inviting her to a company meeting that is an overnight event? That seems weird. And her agreeing (even if she didn't go) is weird too. BUT does it mean she is cheating?
If what you posted is the extend of their texting conversations, then I don't think so.
I would however have her explain the who context thing - because I don't really get it.
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