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Can I lose my virginity without really having sex?

Tagged as: Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 June 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 2 June 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *onfused19 writes:

Okay im 19 years old and up until yesterday I was sure I was a virgin. Me and my boyfriend were in bed together and things got a bit too heated as he layed on top of me. I know for a fact he didnt go inside of me but I felt some pressure coming from a bit of the tip of the penis as he tried to insert himself and I immeidately told him to stop! I know all about the breaking of the hymen as I had mine broken by using a tampon at 13. His penis deffinately did not go as far as a tampon can reach. He made it barely past the entrance. He's well endowed so I was thinking that if he had gone inside i would have felt it?? I thought sex is through penetration and by thrusting movements of the penis.

So my questions are:

1) Am I still a Virgin?

2) Can I lose my virginity without actually having sex?

3) If the tip of the penis goes around where the hole of the vagina is is that sex?

View related questions: hymen, still a virgin, tampon, vagina

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009):

Ask a group of people this question and everyone would have a different opinion. My personal opinion: you are a virgin until you have had penis-in-vagina sex. I don't think feeling pressure from the tip of his penis outside your vagina counts as sex; in that case virginity could be "lost" during foreplay.

If he was not inside you, you have not had sex.

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A female reader, Confused19 United Kingdom +, writes (2 June 2009):

Confused19 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you very much Satindesire.

Truthfully I still do believe I am a virgin as he didnt actually go indide me.

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A female reader, pebble United Kingdom +, writes (2 June 2009):

pebble agony auntThe hymen doesn't have anything to do with virginity anymore. In the dark ages it did, now we know better. You (and I'm not talking you specifically, just the world in general lol) don't stop being a virgin just because you broke your hymen with a tampon, or horseriding or gymnastics or masturbation or one of the other ways you can break it.

Most people define virginity as never had a penis actually inside the vagina. As soon as it goes in, even just a little bit, then your virginity is gone.

From the way you worded your post, it sounds like he was at the entrance but it didn't actually go in...? Like, he pushed a little bit but you stopped him. If that is the case then I would say yes, you're still a virgin.

If I've read it wrong and he did put it in then I would say you are not a virgin.

But ultimately it's up to you how you define virginity for your own body. If he did put it in a little, and you still ~feel~ like a virgin because you didn't do the thrusting thing then you're still one - it's all up to you :)

Good luck.

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A female reader, Confused19 United Kingdom +, writes (2 June 2009):

Confused19 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

To Rihannax thank you for your feedback I think i understand a bit more now.

To anonymous female reader You did NOT help at all.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009):

Your not a virgin.

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A female reader, Rihannax Spain +, writes (2 June 2009):

Rihannax agony auntlosing the virginity means breaking the skin inside you, wich you said alredy happens, so when he goes in it wont hurt, so thats one part of losing it.

and sex is the penis going mostly in and rubbing in and out, if he barely went in and didnt rub then no thats not sex, so you half lost your virginity, your skin is broken but you havent had sex

hopes this helps

xx

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