A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i want to have sex but my mom doesn't know that.i'm only 13 and want to have a baby.but also i don't have a boyfriend.how do i get a boyfriend and have sex at the same time without my mom finding out? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): Some girls want a baby to care for because they feel unloved. A baby will love them! But babies aren't there to make you feel good. They are persons in their own right, and it ain't right to bring them into existence because you need love. Babies are cute, but take a lot of care, not just diapering, but teaching, schooling, and much more. They don't stay babies forever. The kid will have a better chance with two adults loving and taking care of her.
Don't be in a rush for a baby or for sex. You've got lots of time ahead of you.
Sex is fun, but can be dangerous too. As well as pregnancy, you risk a variety of diseases: AIDS, of course, but also Syphilis, gonorrhea, hepatitis b, warts, chlamydia, genital herpes, lice, scabies and others. At best, they are uncomfortable. At worst, you could become sterile or die. Condoms give a level of protection, but not 100%.
When I was young and living in a commune, one young runaway gave gonorrhea to a bunch of the guys living there.
As for getting a boyfriend, concentrate on the friend part first. Be friends with guys and girls. Talk & listen a lot. Sooner or later, you'll find one guy you like who likes you.
13 to 15 is a hard age for girls. Almost a woman, but still a child. You need someone to trust and confide in. I hope your parents could fill that role, but if not, talk to the school counselor, or to your priest or rabbi to find someone to help you thru. One thing many people do is start a diary where they can write down their thoughts and feelings. This can help you too.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): you do not NEED to be having sex at your age...man kids your age need to GROW UP. And another thing you are just a kid yourself...there is no way you can raise one...so do the world a favor and DON'T have sex!!!!!!!!!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): Pretty much everyone who has been through their teens has already seen someone they know being in your situation. It's not uncommon for girls to want a baby when they're teenagers.
But here's what they always insist on learning the hard way: Having sex and getting pregnant won't make you feel better the way you think it will. And it will usually help wreck your life.
I'm not telling you what you want to hear, but this is the truth. PLEASE do not try to get pregnant.
Babysit someone else's baby for a week if you even think you're ready. (And try paying for the food & diapers too.)
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A
female
reader, daniellexxxx  +, writes (15 April 2008):
 you shouldnt be having sex. I cant belive the ages of children havin sex these days.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): Oh dear...
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 April 2008):
 ...sigh...
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A
female
reader, HanaLOUISE +, writes (15 April 2008):
 ii wouldnt do that if ii was you, trust me, mums are scary (:
Just do it when your ready to and dont feel uncomfable, mskr sure your safe and use a condom
CHO x
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (15 April 2008):
 oh my god i could scream when i read these posts. im sorry but this is going to be harsh harsh harsh.....wat are you thinking??? you are still a CHILD!!! - the fact that you are even asking this question shows us that you are nowhere near ready to even think about having a child. your question is so immature and awful. do you think its ok to want to have a baby, without a boyf, without your parent's support, without even hitting 16?? this is ridiculous, and to be honest, so enraging. you are being very stupid if you think that you are ready to be thinking about even having sex - have you thought about sexually transmitted diseases? i think you need help to be honest. and i really do pity your poor mother - because if you do end up getting pregnant, i have no doubt that she'll end up taking care of it. grow up and realise that you are still a child yourself. you are too young to have sex, let alone have a baby!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): Hi hun. I really could be off in my advice here but I have to ask...what's going on in your life, dear? Be honest. I ask that because, quite often, dear...when young adolescent females your age state they want a baby..I feel these young girls are experiencing some emotional emptiness in their own life..it's like a void and they feel like a baby will fill that void. So when a person your age is --perhaps unhappy (?)-they think a baby will fulfill their own emotional needs. Babies don't do that, dear. They are fun, cute and wonderful, but babies are the ones that have the unrelenting, huge emotional 'needs' that must be accomodated, night and day-to flourish, to be healthy and grow up happily. So one has to stop thinking about what 'she needs' and think of what a baby will need. Write us back and tell us ..exactly why you, yourself, would want this baby and what it will mean to you? Because if you were to step out and have sex with the first available guy to get pregnant, you may be jeopardizing your future, not to mention how completely unfair it would be bringing a new life into the world, without two parents who deeply love and support each other. I also think it's time to sit and talk to Mom and tell her, how much you need her, to guide you and support you through the upcoming difficult years. But don't get pregnant...you will have so many huge regrets when you get older...not to mention how unfair it is, to raise a baby, when you don't have the financial resources, and the maturity it takes to be a Mother. You are much too young...please wait and think this over.
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A
female
reader, mia_1936 +, writes (14 April 2008):
 i know this isnt the way you want this qeustion answered but you should cherish your virginity and talk to your parents about sex before you so there is alot of diseases out there dont risk it yuo have school and all a baby is big responsibility. you need to talk to your parents on the real.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 April 2008):
 MissKin has given you some really good advice here. I just wanted to suggest that if you think you want a baby, you should try a bit of babysitting for a young infant just to see how things are with a baby. Have you done any babysitting yet?
If you have, let me know how you liked it! All the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): *sigh*may i ask why?your still a child yourself why would you want one of your own?i am 18 and while i want one i am not finantially ready for one.please listen to some wisdom and wait till your older.
-michael
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A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (14 April 2008):
 You're 13 - too young to have sex. too young to have a baby.
Why do you want a baby? I don't advise having a baby. At 13? I dont think so. at 18? no. still too young. You've got the rest of your life to lead, you're a baby yourself, if you bring another baby into the world how are you ever going to take care of it? It's okay to WANT a baby, but to actually HAVE a baby will enrage your parents and disconnect you from your friends and from the teenage life around you.
You don't have a boyfriend. And if you did have a boyfriend they would not be ready to have a baby.
This view on life you seem to have at the moment screams at me that you're not mature enough to have sex yet. I really think you should wait.
You can't force yourself to get a boyfriend. And when you do you shouldn't rush straight into sex. Relationships at your age shouldn't be about sex.
If you get a boyfriend, have sex and get pregnant - your mum will find out.
No one should advise you on how to do any of this, because you're too young and it's not right. So i'm sorry if you don't get the answer you're looking for. Please rethink your decision. Its okay to want to have sex - but you're still so young. Get a boyfriend, kiss, go on dates, hug, cuddle, but don't have sex. And if you ignore this completely and do decide to get a boyfriend (i hope they care about you if you decide to sleep with them) make sure you use protection if you do anything. You never know what sexual diseases you can catch by having unprotected sex. and you really don't want to get pregnant right now.
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