A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Single Adults...After you have started dating someone, when do you think that sex begins to be expected? First week? First month? When?For men, since you are usually the ones most concerned about this topic, what are your personal expectations? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008): All guys and gals are different. I slept with my first love after 1 month together. My second boyfriend was a jerk - he suggested that I was easy after sleeping with him for the first time 3 months into the relationship just because his ex-girlfriend (who he was obsessed with) held out for longer than me. For ages after that I was haunted by feelings that I must be a slut so when I got together with my current boyfriend I waited for as long as I possibly felt I could and didn't have sex with him until 8 months into the relationship. Personally I think the longer you can wait the better.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008): There is no 'industry standard' on this. Actually, when I reached a certain age, I could tell if a woman was 'easy' or not because I happen to believe that sex on the first date (which has happened to me a lot) is no indication that the woman concerned is of loose morals. If I have a gut instinct that she would normally be the type to hold off for a few dates, then I take it as a huge compliment if we do it first date.Go with your gut instinct - if it feels like the right time - then it IS.Good luck.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (18 July 2008):
Why are you worrying about what the majority think?
Honestly, I can understand wanting a majority view on topics and so on, but when it comes to something personal, such as sex, the majorty's views shoudlnt really have anything to do with what you decide to do in your life.
So what im saying is, have sex when you feel it is right. Even though you're an adult, the same thigns still count as when you were a teenager- dont be pressured into sex just because he wants it and if hes truly a great guy then he will be willing to wait.
The "right" time to have sex for the first time is when both partners mutaly want it and are ready.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008): I personally have a six month rule about sleeping with a guy. I like to know him, trust him and really really like him. But maybe that's just me.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (18 July 2008):
First date and even huge week is a huge no no. The guy will think you are too easy and you'll never hear from him again.
I think I did it with my hubbie for the first time after 3 weeks together but we did some other stuff before that. We might have done it sooner but as I recall we had no protection and were a bit too naked to find a late night chemist.
It all depends on what you want from the relationship and who you both are. The best advice is just to wait till you feel ready.
I think if I had been going out with a guy for month and he hadn't tried to initiate something I would be a little worried though... I suppose I would expect him to be the one wanting it and me to be the one holding off. Although this has not always been the case in the past.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, dannyboy2624  +, writes (18 July 2008):
 Usually for me its after the 3rd date. I cannot be in a relationship with whom I hooked up on the first night. Guys look at woman differently when you sleep with us on the first night.
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