A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid Family,I have a situation that I really need some comforting words and advice on. I will try and be concise. Please be patient with me. I dated a guy in 2008, we had a very bad ending which resulted in him seeking revenge by assisting my work colleagues and HR, driving me out of my job; i helped him source the job in my workplace, so he knew them. Although he had since left, he made sure he would get me the sack. Anyway, I was bullied, he gave up my personal circumstance to them, and made up lies about me which put my professionalism to question. I was humiliated, reduced to tears, harassed, my work was rejected,my movement blocked I suffered a nervous breakdown, I couldn't take anymore, I went off sick with stress.I vocalised my feelings on a mobile site, I spoke no ill of him, i posted up the feelings of love i still had for him along with my sadness and disbelief he could do that to me.'i know, but I'm not a hateful person' He found me on the forum, got his friends to befriend me, i was not in a fit state of mind at the time, i wanted love, they asked me for pictures...i gave them. I didn't know they knew him. He put my naked pictures on the intranet and claimed i was no lady. He had friends in the network i was with, they intercepted my texts, everything was violated. He befriended a doctors son who worked at the my local surgery as an admin assistant. They retrieved my medical records and discussed them on the internet. The doctors son claimed to be my friend and tried to sleep with me. I was ILL, and stressed and sinking further into a depression. The doctors son then told me that my exes girlfriend was the mastermind behind all of it, i asked him why he done this to me? He said he didn't know, he couldn't help it, he wanted to have powerful friends so that he could become a king. I contacted that police and disclosed what was happening on the network forum, they advised i discontinue the service and said they could not act because no threats had been made.As for the doctors son, i never told anyone except my personal doctor, i played a tape to him as evidence. I was scared the doctors son was mad and would damage me. My doctor asked me not to tell anyone, he advised me to keep quite even in therapy. 2weeks later he left the job.In the meantime I had to fight my workplace who were trying to sack me due to ill health. I fought. They were advised by Occupation Health to offer a compromised agreement. They refused and transferred me to another company with the same people: they had lost a contract. In October 2009, I returned back to work at new company, only to find out my ex's wife was there, ...it started again..only this time it was worse. I was gangstalked, my home broken into, I was threatened by staff, my desk was broken into, they took pictures of me in the office, put them on the net, gave clients my home address to take part in the stalking. I became their entertainment. Once again the management turned a blind eye, it was easier for them to say I was crazy and the fault lied with me. I was followed home after work daily. I called the police into my workplace for help... the staff denied everything, it made the bullying worse. I broke in fear of my life, my health meant more and I needed to safeguard myself and family. I left in January 2010. Since then I have repaired my life, I am happy but also filled with rage, I'm working freelance now and saving to move to buy a home. I was seeing a guy at the time but had to end it because of the stress. I have changed the locks on my door. I'm a christian so some days I am at peace and other days I am very very angry. I joined a dating site, they found me on there and tried to continue the abuse. I'm ok, I don't use that site anymore. My question is "Why can't I move on completely from this? How I can I have a healthy relationship and hide this from a partner? I'm scared to let myself go in a relationship, because they might turn out like my ex or I may ask a partner to assist me to seek revenge. Please reply.. Thank you.
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bullied, christian, move on, my ex, nude pictures, revenge, stalking, text, the internet, workplace Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, babybutton +, writes (22 July 2010):
Poor woman!! Change your doctors change your routine ,keep a diary, you sound like a victim of harrasment!! Somtimes people with mental are not often taken seriously I hate to say but iys society bunch of steriotypical people! A diary and get your self a camera ,dictaphone log who your telling things to ect drastic maybe? Pics on the bet of u naked well report that its a crime if he has done it hun best bet wen on sosial networking sites remain on private and chat to people u want to talk to shorten your name? Don't put full name and details on there he is clearly stalking you. Chin up chick it will be worth it in the end. Take care don't let him win !! Xxx emma
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): HiRevenge is never your healing. Turn your life around by moving forward change your perspective.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): If you feel that you will ask a future partner to assist you in seeking revenge on your ex, that alone speaks volumes and it says that you are not over your ex. You can't put a time limit on when you will get over a broken heart or even to trust. I say you shouldn't even think about dating until you get over this guy and this situation COMPLETLEY. You will never have a healthy relationship if you keep secrets and still can't manage to cope with the past. You need therapy and I sugg. you seek it asap. After reading your post.....did you ever press charges or put a restraining order against those that stalked and harrassed you? If you haven't, you should think about doing that.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 June 2010):
 Hey wait a minute! Is somebody going to tap into this and read this too? I struggle to believe what you are going through. A lay person like me has no advice because I can hardly relate to the dark, toxic environment you are in and the only thing I can tell you is to move the hell out of there. What you need now is a happy go lucky, simple minded, mentally healthy individual. I am sure that person wouldn't want to be dragged into this mess. The darker forces behind all this is too much for two people to tackle. When you give energy into it, think about revenge, that only reinforces their strength. Because hate and revenge are their middle names. You can indeed forgive and forget. Die to your old life and start anew somewhere else. Only use the internet when absolutely necessary. What we can do on dearcupid is to tell you that most of us don't live like that, like get paranoid about daily activities. Many of us work and live among friendly, innocent people. If you need someone to confide in, go to a counsellor. This is a little too much for a stranger or a potential friend to handle. With the mindset you have, I am sorry to tell you it's not really a good time to start a romantic relationship.
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