A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm not really sure where to start with this to be honest.Basically my friend is going through a hard time right now. She has just gotton out of a relationship (her first one) and seems to be taking it pretty rough, and she was going out with a mutual friend and the mutual friend keeps giving mixed messages about whether she wants to stay in contact.It's hard because I am friends with both of them and I am always there to listen to both of them but I can't say much without feeling like I'm somehow betraying or offending the other one.One of them (like I have said) is taking it pretty hard, her work is suffering, her health and I don't know what to do or say to try and help her.I've never been in a situation like this before so I can't really say I understand or try and tell her what happens because even if I have everyone is different but she wants specific answers.I'm always there to listen to her and everything but I feel useless.When she talks to me I'm lost for words because I want her to know she can come to me but I can't say anything about the other one because it's not fair on them as I want to remain friends with them.I'm really confused about what I'm supposed to do which isn't fair on her because she needs someone to talk her through things.Should I continue just being a friendly ear for her? Or can I do something more to try and help her without feeling like I'm betraying my other friend?It's a really confusing situation and I don't want to lose either of them.I'm really worried about her as she keeps talking about drinking and everything but I don't want her to see that I'm worried because she has her own worries to deal with and I don't want her to feel like she can't come to me, but I am begginning to get really worried about her.Anyway, any advice would be great.Thank you =)
View related questions:
mixed messages Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCaring Guy:
Thanks soo much for the response, it's a relief to hear =)
I know I posted this in November 2009, but things have finally started to look up.
She seems to be doing OK, there are some rough days, where she might not even come in to college, but on the good days she seems happier.
I am still good friends with both of them as well, which I am really pleased about.
Thanks soo much for the advice, it helped a lot, I continued to be a friendly ear and it seems to have helped just her talking and me listening.
Thanks again =D x
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 November 2009):
Just continue to be a friendly ear. There's little else you can do. If they're both good friends to you, then they won't say anything, because you're not actually betraying anyone at all. Just be a good ear to both, offer some careful advice, and that's all you can do. If either says anything, simply say that you won't be made to choose because they are both you're friends, and it's not your job to be in the middle.
...............................
|
