A
female
age
30-35,
*ostlove21
writes:I’m in love with my best friends ex boyfriend, they broke up 6 weeks ago after a 22 month long relationship, and can I date him or not?????I have been her friend for 19 months since we started high school together. She was dating him since Gr.9. this is a really long time for two teenagers to date right? And they were clearly each others first loves, not to mention the first people they slept with. I like him a lot as he is so sweet, kind and nice to everyone, and because I heard her talk about him every single day, I think it might have brain washed me a bit. He met me through her and so I was her friend first so he will probably always think of me as her friend not his. Another big problem is he just got out of a hug relationship and is looking to hang out with his buddies and maybe the occasional fling. I don’t want to be a fling!! I want to date him and have him hold me like he did to her, how messed up is my head. He is quite flirtatious and always hugging me so I can't tell if he’s just my friend or if he feels the same, and I can't throw my friendship away over some relationship that he might not even know or care about.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009): they have only broken up for 1.5 months and you are now ready to move on with him inspite of your best friends feelings. she invested almost 2 yrs with him. surely that indicates that she loved or cared for him deeply. it seems you were waiting in the wings for him to leave her and then make your play for him. well if this is what you have been doing then what kind of friend are you? this girls heart must still be broken over her bf. do you want to rub salt in her wounds and go after him. then you are playing with fire and will get burned.friends do not mess with their friends partners. you may be surprised that the 2 don't get back together again. then what will you do. you are going to be friend less soon until you change your ways regaring this guy. he is not yours for the taking. if he wants s fling then it means that he consideres you easy and loose. are you this easy?. if you want a bf then get someone who is not emotionally attached because this guy still is. he may not admit it but 22 months in a committed relationship doesn't just end. emotions are involved and people usually end up having a sexual relationship with the first one that comes their way. then they dump their rebound partner. if you want this to happen to you, dive in. or back off. there should be unattached guys that you can hook up with surely?
A
female
reader, Shannon Williams  +, writes (16 May 2009):
 I would fell betrayed by you but if you like the guy so much mebe you could ask for her blessing
Anyway you're to loose your friend if you go on
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A
female
reader, jessica04  +, writes (16 May 2009):
 Bottom line, would you be happy with it if you were in her shoes and had to watch your BF date your recent ex? Probably not.
Maybe things with them will cool down in a year, who knows, but right now it is just way too soon to even think about trying to date him.
Right now you should just focus on being her friend and helping her deal with this break up. What if you and he were to date for a while, and then break up? Would she console you and comfort you? Probably not. She'd probably think you got what you deserved for dating her ex.
Exes are usually no-nos for dating. Just don't go there.
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A
female
reader, All4MyLove +, writes (16 May 2009):
It's a tough call. If the friendship is really important to you , you should talk to her first and see if she would be Ok with it.
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