A
female
age
51-59,
*rnlpn
writes:I know people will think I'm crazy but there is my drama. I have been divorced for 5 years; I have been with my current BF for 6 years (see the connection). My BF and I have lived together for 3 years. I divorced my husband because he was always working; we did not spend time together and NO sex life unless I initiated it. My current BF in the beginning gave me everything I was missing and then some. Now since time has passed we don’t spend that much time together and again I am the one initiating sex. He says, he's not as young as he use to be (he's mid 40's), he's under stress (his teen son has been getting into trouble). I would believe this if I didn’t catching him txt and emailing sexual things to another woman at work (they're just friends?? And I always knew he was a flirt). I love him and don't want to give up like I feel I did on my marriage but I am young (40) and I feel like I am stuck. I admit I am not the easiest person to live with; I am a control freak and very, very sexual. He knew this when we got together.I need passion in my life but right now I have none..what should I do? stay and hope it gets better or leave, I just think if I leave it will just happen again. what is wrong with wanting passion in a relationship after the newness has worn off?
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female
reader, trnlpn +, writes (23 June 2010):
trnlpn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAll of these suggestions would be great if I hadn't tried them already. Sexually, I have and he knows, I am up for anything but a threesome. I have the clothes, I have the toys, I have the lotions, I have taken pictures and sent them to him, I am up for watching and doing videos, and I love to give oral sex. Which he use to like all of this but now, it is either I am being nasty, or if I try any sexual talk like he was doing with a co-worker, I was told he doesn't think of me as a whore. Well, hey for that but I don't know what else to try. I'm to the point of trying someone else, but I don't want to give up. I do need to be more supportive and try not to figure out his problems for him, regarding his son. Thank you for the advice, some was helpful.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2010): Slip your current bf some cialis, and lots of oral sex :) It'll come back!
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A
female
reader, Spades  +, writes (22 June 2010):
 There is nothing wrong with wanting passion in ones life. It is extremely common.
I personally, would hold on for a bit longer. Try to work things out with your boyfriend. Maybe spicing up the sex life. Even if you have to initiate it, he might get into it and follow suit.
As for him being under stress. Tell him you are supportive of him and that he can talk to you at anytime. Don't force him, just let him know that you're there. That might lift some of the load off his shoulders, thus making him happier and wanting to spend more time with you if he feels relaxed in your presence.
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