A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was with my boyfriend for almost a year. We broke up and really it was my fault. I had cheated on him and during the first months of our relationship i actually liked his friend, which he later found out.However, after i told him that i had been with someone else, we had a break but we got back together and it all seemed fine for a month or so. Then he became distant and as a result we broke up. It's difficult though, he still keeps talking to me. I still like him and it's really hard trying to resist the urge to REPLY. Some days he'll talk and everything will be fine and it's nice. But he keeps having thesev mood swings and he says "im over, but will you just get over me" and then he claims to still have a grudge?! Can he hold a grudge and be over it at the same time?! He's bringing this up more often - He called me a "whore" today and then acts like normal an says he wants to be friends!? Is that normal!?!?! I've appologised repeatedly but he says i don't mean it, but i really don't know what else to say or do? I hate myself for what i done, really. I never thought i could actually hurt someone like that.I don't know if i should just stop all contact or just try and work things out. Any advice please? x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Mr.Insignificant  +, writes (13 May 2009):
 First I want to say that I am proud of you for owning your role in the break up.
I am concerned that he is keeping you just close enough to verbally abuse you and make you miserable. It is passive agressive but he can get away with it because he know that you still like him.
As difficult as it may be, you may want to severe all ties with him so that you both can heal from the outcome.
He needs to deal with his pain in a different way rather than tear you down and verbally abuse you.
You need to forgive yourself for hurting him but you can't do that when the one you hurt is a constant presence in your life always ready to remind you of how much you hurt them.
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