A
female
age
51-59,
*oxie 23
writes:I've been in a long distance relationship for 2 1/5 years and we spoke and emailed every day, several times a day, for several hours. We somehow managed to make it work. Last week I was away on business and told him i'd talk with him on sunday as soon as i got back home. however we did email each other every day while i was away. however on thursday night there was no response. I got home earlier than expected - on Friday. I called him when i got home and his son had said he went into town to help someone out. Needless to say i tried his cell and also texted him. All with no response which was very unusual. I tried again on his cell on saturday but he had it shut off. again very unusual. when i finally did call through it rang and went to message. i suspected something was wrong in my gut so I blocked my number and tried again and he picked up right away. I said hi and he said hi. i said how are you and he said fine how are you i said is everything ok and he said yes i'll call you tomorrow. i then asked him are you with someone and he said no i'll call you tomorrow. at this point i just knew that he was with someone. i tried to call back to ask him where he was and the phone had been turned off. he called me the next evening twice, but i filled my voicemail box and didn't want to speak with him. he sent me an email that read.. tried to call you but your box was full, guess you already knew that, your choice, take care. It felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. i did not respond to him. and havent. he has not made any attempts to contact me as well. how does someone who professes they care about you and is excited you are coming down in 4 weeks to see him... treat you so indifferently. i am tempted to contact him. i still love him but was always the one running back after each fight. i won't do it this time around, but there is no closure, we havent spoken. do you think he will call me? can someone be that cold not to even acknowledge the wrong that's been done? what do i do now?
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female
reader, Roxie 23 +, writes (6 October 2009):
Roxie 23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi...
well guess who called me this weekend.... He texted me on Friday night before he went to bed…. I didn’t get it till Saturday morning…. It said ‘Miss you xo’ and I responded back…. 'I sent you a letter on Friday and I’m not sure what to say to you'…. he answered back why? What did I do? and why did you cut off all communication with me with no explanation…. I told him… 'because you were with someone'…
He then asked if he could call me…. and I said yes…. He then began to tell me about what had happened … his sister and daughter had a falling out and the daughter took off to England to be with her mother… he spent a lot of time and money finishing the basement in his sisters house so that his daughter could stay there with them while going to school… she was going to be paying rent to them…. But they kept fighting and they kept involving him…. Anyways… then he said he had a fight with his other daughter… and that his neighbor was on him about helping him out…. He said he was really in a pissed off mood and didn’t want to talk with anyone including me…. I told him why didn’t you just say that to me?.... why wouldn’t you tell me that, instead of having me suspect the worse….if you were in my shoes what would you think….. he said I have been in your shoes when you have taken off and I haven’t heard from you…. I lay there thinking you are off doing whatever with someone else…. So yes, I could see his point…
Anyways, we have been talking a lot…. I kept questioning him over and over again… and he’s like listen, you can either choose to believe me or you don’t have to believe me… it’s ultimately your decision…
He told me that he was pissed at me the first two days…. Was pissed that I cut him off…. Said he really missed me during the two weeks and that it was really hard on him as well…. he said that he figured he would try texting me and the worst that could happen would be that I would tell him to “F.O”
So anyways, he wants me to come back out so we can sit face to face and talk about all this …
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009): I don't see that he has done anything wrong except see another woman. You are out-of-town. It is difficult to make a long-distance relationship last. Did you have an agreement that you wouldn't see other people?
As you stated, you have to be the one to come running back. Why humiliate yourself like that? You infer that this bothers you, so stop it.
You know that you should move on! Has he really done anything wrong to admit? Kick him out on his ass and move onto someone more like you.
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A
female
reader, Roxie 23 +, writes (28 September 2009):
Roxie 23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell Gina, I have to pick your brain again... sorry.... but since it's been over a week now.... i have been debating whether or not i should just send him a goodbye letter... just letting him know how i felt and saying my goodbye.... should i do this as part of my closure?... i really don't know if i should keep waiting or just bite the bullet and send the letter.... and if i do send it ... should i do it by email or regular mail?.... I am so confused about my feelings and what i should do next....
thanks again... roxanne
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A
female
reader, Roxie 23 +, writes (26 September 2009):
Roxie 23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Gina.... you know I needed the reassurance.. I started to think it was just me... but i really feel he is showing little to no respect... he is the one who always said... never give a person hope where there is none and he always stated that he was loyal to friends and expected nothing less in return, that should either of us find ourselves wanting to be invovled with someone else we would discuss it at that time...yet those rules didnt apply to him... it's been a week and he still has mad no further attempts to contact me.... thaks again... i really appreciate your honesty and advice.... Roxanne
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