A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my b/f, 18, and me, 15 r going out in secret, and when were talking to a teacher, while i said things that made it obvious that im in his life alot, like a g/f, so the teacher asked if him if we were going out, and he said to ask me, and by then there were 2 students there, and i anwsered 'no', but since she didnt believe me she asked my age, and i told her, and she started giving us a speech about legal terms, and crap. and i just got really read cuz then i was holding a finger that was over the conter, so the teacher couldnt see me, but the girl next to me saw it and announced it the the world, so then she figured out that we were really going out.and i dont see the problem cuz as long as we dont have sex, we r good right?cuz im the one like bring up sex, more then him. he told me that he doesnt expect me, or want me to feel like, he wants sex. so thats a good sign that we wont get into legal trouble right? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Luverlee +, writes (19 January 2009):
Ok there is no law ((as far as i know)) that says you can't date. Dating doesn't do anything.. now sex is another thing. what is the age of consent in your state? there could be your problem. so yeah find that out and you have your answe... BUT there is nothing wrong with you two dating. Hope that helps.
A
male
reader, Undisclosed  +, writes (18 January 2009):
 I'm sorry to hear that you're in this thorny situation. Why can't things be simple, right?
Believe it or not, society has decided that you're in a vulnerable position and the law wants to protect you. If you two have sex, he will go to court under charges of raping a minor, end of story. Hiring a sky-writing plane to stream "I CONSENT TO HAVING SEX WITH YOU!" across the sky isn't going to help.
But you know exactly what you're doing: "i dont see the problem cuz as long as we dont have sex, we r good right". So that's all it boils down to. You're playing with something dangerous. Like matches, you can play with them but there's the potential of messing things up (he could end up in court). So your teacher is looking at this mousetrap and sweating nervously. She's worried about your bf. She's worried about you.
Don't want to get "burnt"?:
1. No sex so long as you're a minor (even if he later says he doesn't care if he gets in trouble). YOU have to be responsible, you have to be VERY CAREFUL.
2. Date another minor.
The law sucks in your situation but relationships as I'm sure the two of you know, are very rewarding without sex. You guys are having a great time together and enjoying each others company! Just make sure those HUGE RED FLAGS(!) and WARNING SIGNS(!) pop over your head and jar you when lust seeps in to blind both of you in the heat of the moment. In other words, be very careful :)
All the best,
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (18 January 2009):
you can date and be friends, but if you take things further and have any sort of sexual activity then that will be breaking the law and he could go to prison for rape. ask yourself if it is really worth it, as there are plenty more fish in the sea!
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