A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've recently got together with this guy - I knew him a long time ago when I was a teenager, just as a name and a face. Got talking recently and we got on really well. Then he instigated flirting and it kinda went from there and he invited himself over (I'm very shy normally). He told me that he's not specifically looking for a relationship - he has a 17month old daughter from his last one - as he doesnt want disaster and unstability anymore, for his sake and his little girls and this would, for now, be a casual thing. He is aware a bit I'd have liked more, but is happy that I don't mind the other girls. I'm also the only one that's not instigated flirtatious behaviour with him that I'm aware of. He tells me he missed me - his daughter is with him a few days a week so he's preoccupied, which I don't mind. With guys with kids I always tell them to put the kids first.I don't mind there being other girls although I am concerned that I'll lose out when he trims back who he is seeing. There are 2 of us from the same area, and the others are all some way away, and one can be discounted as never becoming more than a casual thing.We clicked really well, have a lot in common, he asks what I've been up to, I show an interest in his daughter. When we are together, he treats me like the only girl in the world, he wants to drag me out to meet his friends and has no issues with the fact I can be quite openly touchy-feely with people I know carnally.I've not been in a casual relationship where I feel I have to compete with others (I have some issues that I have told him about, a fear of abandonment is my main one) but I don't want him to feel he HAS to keep me around, even though I'd quite like him too. (This could just be me feeling negative.)Do I just be awesome and wonderful and me and hope for the best? (I think I've confused myself somewhere.)
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (24 October 2008):
If you want more from him then you are going to get hurt.
By putting all the effort in, you are going to be really hurt when he turns you down or cancels last minute because you are low priority.
Casual means casual and if this guy doesn't want to commit to you now because he can have all the girls he wants - why on earth would he change his mind?
Good Luck!! xx
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