A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know a lot of people face this problem on these sites, being infatuated by your teacher and it does get dull to help but I am stuck beyond stuck and like the rest need your help.I have tried to get through this on my own for years, and it's more and more undignifying. I fell in love when I was 13 and this continued until I was 14 and a half. Through this time, I struggled to get over her and, although she was a student, I struggled to tell her - because I'm a wuss. I had to get through holidays without her. The only reason I did get over her is because I fell in love with my teacher. I'm not going to post what happened to her earlier in her life because it would be unfair but it was tragic. She has a boyfriend and two children, older than me, the age difference is ridiculous but I care about her. I swore that I would only do that; I would never have her (possessive but...) but I would promise to always look out for her.The problem is, I'm finding it difficult to get her out of my head. It probably wouldn't be what she wanted either - sex would be too awkward for me. I'm not actually an awkward person, and I have had girl friends but when I am infatuated with someone, it's difficult for my feelings to escape.I can't go through this anymore. Tomorrow (19th March) my Easter holidays start and once again I leave her for another month. I can't keep doing this -and on July 4th I will leave her forever. I'm meant to be revising for a series of important exams (GCSE's) that I desperatley need to pass.Can anyone, please that understands the difficulty of giving up someone you care and feel like you love them so much help me try to. I know I don't have a choice I understand that but I need to get over her.
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female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 I'm going to try here. You are in love with what could be, not what is. If you were in love with what is, the two of you would be together making plans but that is not the way I read this. You have an infatuation and I am certain that you care about this woman. It is not a bad thing to care about someone but when it is an obession and you can't focus your life then it is not healthy. I think you realize that and are asking us for help to get over this.
Really look at this situation and see that it is not a possible relationship for either of you. She would lose her job. She may not have feelings for you like you have for her. She is at one place in her life and you are at a very different one. Realizing the truth in a situation should somehow allow your feelings to be seen in a new light. What you wish for is most likely impossible so now that you know that, time for moving on.
Moving on to feel the pain of wanting something so bad and then realizing that you can not have it. Your clever mind found a way to get over your former love and that was to find a new one. That is likely the way you are going to get over your teacher, to find a new (and more appropriate) person with whom to have these feelings for.
You are not in an impossible situation. There are lots and lots of people on this site who want someone they can not have or someone who does not want them. Part of growing up I am afraid. You just have to find a way to move forward to the next chapter.
Take care and good luck on your exams.
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (19 March 2008):
 This takes time, but in the meantime just write about your feelings. Maybe give her a present the last day of class to show her how much she means to you.
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